Off Without A Hitch
by DukePony
Summary: A year has passed since the events of The Fox In Bunny Burrows and Big Trouble (NY Times Best seller and Caldecott award winner stories), and now Nick and Judy's wedding has arrived. However, after a "faulty-investment" it is up to Nick to ensure that everything goes Off Without a Hitch. Welcome back to the world of Wildehopps and zootopian delight! Rated T for "adult themes"/jokes
1. Chapter 1

Dear Readers,

Into the great green yonder! After months of soul-searching and countless pilgrimages, I had found myself atop the tallest mountain in Bangladesh. I had been blindly searching for a fabled wise-guy atop the mountain for many moons, and despite exhaustion, hunger, a complete language barrier or even an accurate understanding of how maps worked, I had found him. In making his acquaintance, I had offered him the traditional Banglanees gift of some rocks I had found outside his home. Graciously, the wise-guy refused my gift eight times before finally gesturing for me to put them in the corner. I asked the wise-guy what was up, but he did not reply because he did not speak American. so then I asked him what my purpose in life was. The wise-guy leaned in close and whispered in my left ear (the sensual ear) "fan fiction dot net..."

At least I think that's what he said. In any case, I have returned with a new story of love, failure, triumph, and defeat. I missed you all very much, and I am glad to be back.

-Enjoy

"Picture a serine meadow… or a tropical island… I don't know; I haven't decided yet."

"Not a good start, but go on…" Judy propped her chin up on a paw as she lay draped over Nick's chest, awaking for the day.

"Shush, you" Nick pulled the covers over Judy's head, eliciting a giggle from the doe rabbit. "As I was saying; everyone would be gathered for the ceremony. You'd be at the altar with the father, awaiting the arrival of your strong-charming-handsome-smart and funny groom-to-be…"

"That's not how a wedding works, Nick…" Judy peeked out from under the heavy blanket as she interrupted "the bride is the last one to arrive at the altar."

"Oh, my bad, Carrots" Nick shot the offending rabbit a smug glare "I didn't realize we were going over your wedding fantasy… how inconsiderate of me." Acknowledging Judy's eye-roll Nick absentmindedly stoked the rabbit's long grey ears as he continued to explain his interpretation of their perfect wedding. A year had passed since the duo had first gotten engaged, and "the big day" was fast approaching.

"So, after literally hours of waiting for me to arrive… animals start to whisper; 'where's the groom' they say, 'Nick should have been here hours ago.' Amidst all the doubt, your father wonders if he and I will still have a chance at romance after breaking your heart."

A nasally chuckle escaped Judy at the thought of her father and Nick eloping, as he had joked so many times before.

"Just as the organist faints from exhaustion… Thunder" Nick paused for dramatic effect, earning an eye roll and slight groan from his fiancé. "But it's not thunder, it's me! Riding the biggest, loudest motorcycle you've ever heard or seen!"

"Nick, be serious" laughed Judy at the fox's outlandish story.

"I am serious, Carrots" defended Nick "this motorcycle is going to be crazy loud, it's probably going to give you hearing loss. In fact, if you have any old people you were planning to invite, you might want to lose those invitations, because it's probably going to trip their pace makers…"

Judy let her face drop onto Nick's chest as she tried her hardest not to laugh at Nick's stupidity.

"Anyways," continued the fox "I come screaming down the aisle on my bike, and I park on-top-of the wedding officiant; crushing him instantly. With his dying breath, he marries us. Then we kiss; it starts out tasteful, but then I slip in some tongue, maybe get myself a little bit of this action-"

"Nick!" Judy blushed hard at Nick's grab as she forced the fox's snout shut with her paws, prompting the fox to laugh at her embarrassment. "I guess I should have known better than to expect a serious answer…"

"Well I hope you learned your lesson," replied Nick, freeing himself from Judy's grasp. "Honestly, I never really fixated on the ceremony itself. It was always the night after the wedding which excited me."

"And why might that be, Mr. Wilde?" Judy asked from her position on top of Nick.

"That's when we get to mash dirty bits," answered the fox flatly.

"Nick!" Judy blushed even harder at the fox's teasing, and made another bid to silence her fiancé.

Nick laughed as he fought desperately to keep the flustered rabbit at bay. "Why do you think us foxes call it 'tying the knot"?"

Judy's blush was so violent that Nick thought for a second she might faint. Rolling off Nick's chest in mock disgust, Judy folded her arms in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. "Well that's not what we bunnies call it.

"So what do you prudish bunnies call it then?" a smug grin wrapped itself about Nick's muzzle as he continued to back Judy into a corner.

"We ummm…" Judy trailed off, prompting a raised eyebrow from Nick. "Okay, I'll tell you… but you can't laugh… okay?"

Nick's composure became even more smug, before a death glare from Judy set the fox inline. "I promise I won't laugh at your silly bunny traditions" grumbled Nick, crossing his heart in mock promise.

"We call it…" Judy wilted a little as she continued at a near whisper. "Ummm… 'Jumping the broom'"

Nick's eyes bulged, almost betraying his unbreakable façade. Judy shot the crumbling fox a fiery glare, daring him to laugh.

Clearing his throat, Nick steeped his paws in mock professionalism "Fascinating… if you'll excuse me I have some pressing matters to attend to." Retrieving the pillow from behind his head, Nick fluffed it once or twice, laid down flat, placed the pillow back over his face, and died of laughter.

"Nick!" the furious rabbit bellowed over her fiancé's muffled laughs, "you promised you wouldn't laugh!" Judy's embarrassment bubbled into anger as Nick laughed even harder into the pillow. Seizing the moment, Judy leapt onto her fiancé's chest, and pressed down with all her weight on the pillow in an attempt to smother the cackling fox.

Nick laughed even harder at Judy's rage as he attempted to fight off the assailing rabbit.

"Such savagery!" laughed Nick from under the pillow "predator and prey at each other's throats; what has Zootopia come to!?"

Feigning a final death throw, Nick's arms went limp and fell to the now ruffled and messy bedding. Catching her breath, Judy removed the pillow from her fiancé's face, and smothered a laugh with her free paw as she caught Nick's frozen expression of death.

"Oh no, pooooor Nick…" cooed Judy at her partner, as she reached for his tongue which was left hanging out of his mouth in mock expiration. "I'd put that tongue back in your head if I were you…"

Nick's mouth snapped shut protecting his long flat tongue, prompting Judy to giggle at his instantaneous recoil.

"What's this?" Judy continued as she lifted Nick's head with her paws, "Maybe he's not dead… maybe… I know! Maybe true-love's-kiss can bring back my fox!"

A snicker escaped Nick's entirely convincing façade as he puckered his lips for a kiss.

Rolling sideways off of Nick's chest, Judy delivered a kick to the fox's side, launching him out of the bed and onto the cold wood floor of the apartment.

Contacting the chilled flooring, Nick awakened with a yelp.

"He lives!" cheered Judy from the warm confines of the bed.

Nick was not amused.

Climbing back into bed with his triumphant fiancé, Nick returned to the previous topic of discussion. "In all seriousness, fluff, I've always been more of a honeymooner. And the fact that we're not going to have one…"

"We'll have a honeymoon, Nick" assured Judy, taking Nick's paws in her own as they lay across from each other. "We just have to save back up first. With the new apartment, wedding planning…"

"Cake, Food, Venues…" Nick finished Judy's list in disappointment. "I know, Carrots… I just… Always dreamt of visiting lavished faraway places, you know? The irony in that is that besides my trip to Bunny Burrows with you; I've never left the city of Zootopia."

Looking about their new apartment, Nick exhaled in mixed disappointment. Nick was happy that Judy and he had finally found an apartment together, but Nick couldn't escape the looming cost of living. As of late, money seemed to be the dark cloud in Nick's mind.

"If we were still detectives, we could afford a honeymoon" Nick grumbled, earning a stern look from Judy.

"You can't buy happiness, Wilde" chided Judy as she crossed her arms at the fox.

"Carrots, whoever said that; clearly did not have enough money" replied Nick.

Rolling out of Judy's striking distance, Nick got out of bed and stretched. "Come on fluff, we've got a long day ahead of us; let's get ready."

Oh hot-diggity!

Did you miss reading "oh hot-diggity" at the end of every chapter? I bet you did! If you did, then get ready for more! Off Without A Hitch is officially out, and I will be releasing new chapters every week until it's over. Be sure to follow, favorite and comment on the new story.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear reader,**

I would like to thank all of you for your support on the launch of a new story. I am a little bit busier now a days (I started a business two months ago) but I should be able to maintain a weekly upload schedule. If you guys are good, I may even be able to work my way back into three chapters a week. Bu enough of that, it's story time

Enjoy,

"You know, ever since I was a little girl, I remembered this rumor of a gorgeous lodge hidden away in the woods out past Bunny Burrows." Judy paused as she looked to Nick's reflection in the mirror. Running a brush through her fur as she continued, the duo made their way out of the bathroom to finish getting ready for the day. "Something about that place always sounded… Nice, you know?"

"Sounds to me like you've always wanted to ride off into the sunset, carrots" Nick said as he slid into his classic tan khakis.

"I guess you're right…" pondered Judy. "I don't know why, but I always wanted to find that lodge. I used to imagine that if I just drove out of the Burrows, strait out of town, I'd be able to find it. It sounds so silly now that I say it out loud…"

"It's not silly," replied Nick, buttoning up his shirt. "You're silly." Nick chuckled as he braced for Judy's incoming punch. "That being said, it does sound kind of nice… even if it's not a tropical beach."

"you and you're tropical fixation…" Judy shook her head as she tied Nick's tie for him. Pursing her lips, Judy watched as Nick pulled the perfect knot loose and let the striped tie hang crooked about his neck. "I really don't know why you do that to your ties."

"You know you love it," said Nick as he leaned in to kiss his fiancé.

Returning his kiss, Judy replied "You got me there officer… So are you gonna help with wedding planning today?"

"Isn't that what we hired a wedding planner for, carrots?" asked Nick as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Well yeah, but…" Judy attempted to form a rebuttal.

"I'm telling you, Carrots, we should have just had Clawhouser do it for free" Nick said as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"What makes you so sure Clawhouser would be any good at planning a wedding?" replied Judy, crossing her arms at Nick.

Nick shot Judy a silent knowing glance, which prompted Judy's foot to thump in frustration.

"Well I'll have you know, the wedding planner came highly recommended by Clawhouser" Judy huffed.

"Mmmm," Nick acknowledged as he sipped his coffee "And I suppose that's why we spent all of the honeymoon money on him, eh?"

"Nick…" Judy shot a fiery death-glare at Nick's continued fixation.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry…" replied Nick raising a paw in mock innocence.

"We spent extra, because I wanted to ensure that we would have the _perfect_ wedding" continued Judy as she hopped up and took a seat on the counter next to Nick.

"I gotcha, fluff; off without a hitch and all that…" Nick replied. "But how come we couldn't at least ' _invest_ ' the last of our money? Rocket and Finnick could have gotten us enough for the planner _and_ a honeymoon in no time."

"Nick," Judy reigned in the fox by his tie as she continued. "Enough, okay? We love each other, and that's what matters. Not some trip. Now are you going to help me today, or am I going to have to strangle you with your tie?"

"Mmm, you might have to strangle me…" Nick nodded his head as he spoke.

"Is that so?"

"I'm afraid it is… but could you wait till tonight? I've got to head in to the ZPD for some last minute business."

Releasing Nick's tie, Judy groaned "I guess, but you'd better not be late for your fitting. The tailor is closed tomorrow, and I'd appreciate it if your tux' fit properly for the wedding."

"Don't worry, Carrots" Nick replied as Judy hopped back off the kitchen counter. "I'll be there fifteen minutes early, just for you."

With a quick good-bye kiss, the soon-to-be-wed fox departed for the police precinct.

After hurriedly making his way through the station to the top floor, Nick found himself in the ZPD's financial advisers office. Nick nervously checked the time on his phone as he shifted in the chair which was built for much larger police mammals than himself.

Nick had taken a gamble, a calculated risk, which was about to pay off.

When Nick first realized that Judy and him would not be able to afford the wedding, new apartment, _and_ a honeymoon, he was distraught. However, being an ex-con, Nick was nothing if not quick on his feet. Although Judy had forbid him from "investing" in one of Rocket and Finnick's "entrepreneurial-opportunities," Nick had found another, legal, way to get some quick cash; stock investments.

After consulting with the ZPD's financial adviser, Nick had moved all of Judy's and his savings (as well as their 401ks) into liquid stocks. While risky, the adviser had assured Nick that; "the rewards of smart investing outweighed the dangers."

Checking his phone again, Nick's ears perked up as he heard the office door open. Turning his attention to the smartly dressed gazelle, Nick stuck out his paw for the financial guru.

"Officer Wilde!" announced the gazelle in a tone which brought Nick back to the golden days of hustling. "I hope your morning has been going well…"

"It's about to get better, Mr. Ableman" replied Nick releasing the Gazelle's hoof-shake.

"It absolutely is," replied the advisor with a laugh as he took up his seat on the other side of his desk. "Firstly, I'd like to congratulate you on your first investment in your future. I know you had apprehensions about stock investments when we started, but I can assure you that you made the right choice." Steeping his hooves the glorified accountant continued; "You see, stock investment isn't just a good way to make money; it's a necessary part of a productive portfolio. Without proper invest-"

"Can we cut to the chase?" interrupted Nick.

The gazelle's mouth hung open just a tad, as hurt began to spread across his face.

"N-not that what you're saying isn't important," Nick recovered "because it is… it's just that I don't want to be late for a fitting… And I've kind of heard all of this the last time I was in…"

The gazelle razed a single hoof in acknowledgement, dismissing Nick's interruption, before typing on the computer.

"I'm sorry, mammal…" Nick offered "I didn't mean it li-"

"Mr. Wilde, we are all very busy mammals today…" replied the gazelle hiding his face behind his computer monitor.

An awkward silence descended upon the room, and Nick's ears trained in on what he could have sworn was a sniffle coming from the gazelle. Nick opened his mouth to comment, but was cut off by the investor as his composure reformed.

"Okay!" blurted the business mammal, clapping his hooves together for emphasis. "The moment of truth…"

"Lay it on me!" Nick excitedly wrung his paws together as he awaited his glorious returns.

"You, Officer Wilde, are the proud recipient of…" the gazelle paused for emphasis "Zero Dollars!"

Nick's face froze in confused shock.

The gazelle smiled triumphantly at the fox before realizing what he had just said. Jumping his attention back to the screen, the gazelle began to furiously type at his keyboard.

"Wait…" Nick said in bewilderment "what did you just say?"

"Your investment…" the gazelle swallowed hard as he continued to pound the keyboard "is… gone…"

"So like… it didn't make any money?" asked Nick as horror began to set in.

"No…" replied the gazelle as his typing slowed to a stop.

"So then it made money..." asked Nick, desperation think in the fox's tone.

"Mmmm... no..."

"W-what do you mean 'No'?" asked Nick. "I still have the original investment, right?"

"No… no you do not..." repeated the gazelle turning his full attention to the flustered fox on the other side of his desk.

"You're telling me…" Nick's voice came slowly and full of dread "that all that money… is gone…"

"Yes…" replied the gazelle. "But! Since this is your first time investing with us, here at the ZPD, we do have something for you."

Nick's shoulders dropped in relief as he ran a heavy paw down his face. Reopening his eyes, Nick's face contorted in confusion. "What the hell is that?"

"It's a vase" said the gazelle as he proudly pushed the cheap floral urn towards the fox.

"I can see that," said Nick, frustration rising in his voice. "But where's my money?"

"Oh, the money you invested?" asked the gazelle. "It's gone… But you do have a vase now." The investor nodded his head excitedly at the brittle vase.

Nick's mouth hung open for an impassable moment as his attention made laps between the gazelle and the vase. "Oh… My God… I _do not_ have time for you… where is my money…"

"Well, Officer" the gazelle took out a pair of reading glasses to better inspect his screen. "Sometimes… in the world of finances…" The gazelle spoke out the corner of his mouth as through he were explaining a bad joke "investments don't always _iron out_ … So…"

"Unbelievable…" Nick slumped backwards into his chair as the gazelle nodded sympathetically at the fox.

"Yup, I feel you there" spoke the gazelle.

"I have no money..." Nick said to no one in particular.

"Well that's a pretty crummy way of looking at it..." frowned the gazelle as he took a moment to straiten his collection of pens. "You shouldn't say 'I have no money.' Instead... you can say...'I have one vase'" The gazelle sat back in his chair, basking in the warm glow of his own zen.

"you're right" snapped Nick. "At least now, I have somewhere to store my ashes after Judy kills me; thank you Mr. Ableman, you've really pulled through for me!"

In numb disbelief, Nick snatched the vase off the gazelle's desk and made his way to the door.

"Have a nice weekend, Officer" said the gazelle with a cheery wave.

Nick stalled in the doorway, his brain still unable to comprehend the implications of what had happened. Looking from the cheap vase, to the overly happy investor, Nick opened and closed his mouth several times before finally replying; "Bite me."

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Dear Readers,**

Thank you all very much for your patience with me and my uploading schedule. Starting next week, I should be able to maintain my old upload schedule (Tuesday,Thursday and Sunday). I had to rewrite a small potion of the story because I realized it was all horribly out of character. Gross stuff really, but I suppose that's what happens when you take four month off of writing... I still cant believe its been four months, my word... W-What, are you still reading this? Go! there's a whole chapter down there, what are you reading this for?

-Enjoy

"YOU REALIZE YOU'RE GONNA LOOSE YOUR HOUSE?" Rocket blurted out.

Nick, Finnick and Rocket all stood pantsless in the back room of a local tailor's workshop. After escaping the financial advisers office, Nick had numbly made his way to his fitting, where he met up with his Best-Mammal (Finnick) and his single Groom's-Mammal (Rocket).

Nick's expression was entirely unreadable as he stared down the cheap floral urn, which now sat on the edge of one of the tailor's workbenches. While Nick silently fixated on the icon of his defeated, Rocket and Finnick reacted more animatedly.

"JUDY'S GONNA DIVORCE YOU-" Continued the raccoon.

"They're not even married yet," Finnick chimed in.

"YOU TWO AREN'T EVEN MARRIED YET…" yelled Rocket as he pointed to the tiny-fox for emphasis "SHE'S SOOO LEAVING YOU!"

"She's gonna take half your stuff on the way out," Spat Finnick as he shook his head at the ground.

"Well, I mean… Nick doesn't really have anything left to take…" said Rocket scrubbing his chin in thought "but she's probably going to at least burn his clothes."

"Judy's not going to do any of that…" growled Nick, still staring down the vase.

"I told you; you should have just gone with us" said Finnick. "Instead, you went with that 'financial witch-doctor,' I told you he was a bad idea."

"What!" snapped Nick, turning his attention on the pint-sized fox "You talked me into this, I was on the fence!"

"Okay, okay, okay…" Rocket waved his paws grabbing both foxes' attention. "This is just a problem; all we need is to come up with a solution, okay?"

"Good," Finnick nodded his head in agreement.

"Right, let's spitball like we used to" said Nick clapping his paws together to better focus. "It's just like planning a hustle; no idea's a bad idea. Who's gonna start us off?"

"I GOT IT!" yelled Rocket

"Let's hear it!"

"LET'S ICE THIS SKUNK-BUCKET!"

Both Nick and Finnick instantly recoiled at the overzealous raccoon. Rocket's excited expression slowly melted as his attention jumped from fox to fox.

"I thought there were no bad ideas…" mumbled the disappointed raccoon.

"I was wrong," said Nick, grinding a Knuckle into his brow in frustration "because that's a terrible idea. Also, dude… You can't go around saying things like 'skunk-bucket' anymore, mammal. This isn't the stone ages… A-a-and…" Nick blew out heavily through his nose to try and recollect his scattered thoughts. "How does killing Mr. Ableman get me my money back, Rocket?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THERE'S WAYS…" defended the raccoon "WE COULD HARVEST HIS ORGANS AND SELL THEM ON THE BLACK MARKET!"

"Or his antlers…" added Finnick with a shrug, earning him a death glare from Nick.

"YEAH YEAH YEAH!" blurted Rocket, gesturing excitedly at the miniature fox for emphasis. "I _TOTALLY_ KNOW A GUY WHO'S BEEN ITCHING FOR SOME ANTLERS!"

"Elk… have antlers…"came an outside voice which made all three bickering mammals jump. "Gazelle have horns… And you three realize I'm still here, right?"

Turning around slowly, the guilty mammals fixed their collective gaze on the tailor; a tall and imposing bull elk.

"I-I Mean…" Rocket stuttered "I _might_ know a guy…"

"Enough!" Snapped Nick. "Both of you have upset me beyond belief, and I don't want to hear another horrible idea from either of you two!" Nick made his way to the bench where his tan kakis lay; crumpled and abandoned. "Is my suit done?"

Without shifting his icy glare from the guilty raccoon, the tailor slipped a protective dust sleeve about Nick's freshly manicured suit and passed the hanger to the fox's expecting paw.

Nick grabbed the suit and reached for his wallet to tip the tailor before an iron hoof grabbed his shoulder.

"Love concurs all…" spoke the Bull elk in a deep velvety voice. "Love concurs everything, except money… You tell your fiancé that you lost all her money; and she _will_ leave you…"

Rocket made to gesture at the elk's wisdom, but was frozen solid by the bull's returning glare.

Bringing his attention back to the red fox, the tailor straitened Nick's tie for him and fixed his collar. "Also, don't forget your vase."

Nick stood frozen as the tailor's grim warning sunk in. Opening and closing his mouth several times before finding his tongue, Nick finally stuttered; "I'm leaving."

Nick fished out his empty wallet and let a small wimper escape as he opened it, and realized he had no paper money either.

"Since you two are so full of money and marvelous ideas on how to make it; you two can tip Mr. Elkton…" Nick's attention shifted to the towering bull elk as he tried to remember the elk's full name.

"John; _Sir_ Elkton John…" finished the tailor as he crossed his arms at the silent fox and raccoon.

Nick's shoulders sank as he tried to place the name. "Make sure you tip John for me," spat Nick before retrieving his vase and exiting the back room of the tailor's studio.

Leaving the tailors office, Nick plodded a course for his wedding venue/grave. He was going to have to tell Judy what he had done one way or another. All that Nick could do was pray that she wouldn't leave him.

By the time Nick made it to the venue, a gorgeously modern-looking church, he felt physically ill with dread.

Nick's fur was visibly damp with sweat, and his feet all but left sweaty paw-prints on the churches honed marble steps. Panting slightly, Nick swallowed hard as he adjusted his slippery grip on the cheap floral reminder.

Shouldering open the front door of the church, Nick was almost flattened by an elephant carrying an arm-full of medium sized wooden pews. Looking about the church's hectic lobby area, Nick scanned the busy crowd of event staff; searching for grey fur and purple eyes.

"What are _you_ doing here?" came an agonizingly foppish voice, which made Nick jump and almost drop his vase.

Turning to face the voice, Nick was met by Phillipe; the wedding planner. The gaunt otter wore a pink button down with the sleeves rolled up, and held a cheap paw-radio in the crook of one of his folded arms.

"I'm here t-to talk with Juu-" Nick dry heaved at the thought of telling Judy about his predicament, which caused Phillipe to jump back in fright. "I need to talk to J-J-Ju… I'm here for Ju-" Nick coughed and gagged on his words as Phillipe slowly backed away. "Where's mah wife…" panted Nick, attempting to shift the vase to an off paw so that he could better wipe some sweat from his brow.

"Are you sick?" asked Phillipe in disgust and horror. "Y-You can't be here right now, You n-need to leave!" The otters pitch rose as he attempted to reason with Nick before being cut off by a shrill squeal.

"Nick!" Yelled Judy bounding into the room. The rabbit skid dangerously and almost wiped out on the church's polished marble floor as she came careening into the lobby. "You made it! I don't have to strangle you-" The excited Doe rabbit skid to a halt next to Phillipe as she regarded Nick's disheveled state. "You look _awful_ …"

Nick Chuckled nervously as Judy clapped her paws to her snout in embarrassment.

"Nick was _just leaving_ ," interjected the otter. "We have a _very_ tight schedule, and we can't all be getting sick at the last moment!"

"Are you sick?" questioned Judy as she wilted a little with worry. "Oh my word Nick, do you need to sit down? Hold on, I'll go get you some water!" Judy turned to dash out of the lobby but was stopped by Nick.

" **Wait!** " barked the fox a little louder than he had meant. The staff in the immediate vicinity dropped silent just in time to hear Nick's knotted stomach gurgle and wine at him in dread. Turning his attention to the cross otter, Nick held up a paw to silence him " _f-five minutes_ …" pleaded Nick.

The otter's brow furrowed as Judy took up a position at Nick's side. "Four…" spat the otter. "You have four minutes, and then I expect to see you're little-cotton-rump center stage…" Leaning forward the otter snatched Nick's finished suit out of his off paw, "we still have to decide on the cake's color scheme." With that, the aquatic mammal spun on his heels and sashayed into the crowd of busily decorating mammals.

"So!" said Judy turning to face Nick. "We have four _whole_ minutes to talk about whatever you want!" the doe rabbit smiled happily before being struck once more by how awful Nick looked.

Nick opened his mouth but no words came out. Tucking his vase under his now free arm, Nick reclosed his mouth and tried to recompose himself with a charming smile. It didn't work.

Judy grimaced as her ears zeroed in on the sound of Nick's digestive tract attempting to tie itself in knots. Shifting her attention from the sweat soaked threads of Nick's green button-down Judy rocked nervously from side to side. "Nick, we now have… three minutes and… forty-eight seconds to… _talk…_ about _whatever_ it is that you need…"

Nick reopened and closed his mouth several more times before finally managing. "Judy I…" Nick's insides were waging a violent civil war, and he thought he might legitimately pass out from dehydration on account of his sweating.

Shifting the vase from its nook under his arm, Nick's greasy paws slipped causing him to almost drop the last shred of his sanity.

Over gritted teeth, Judy shot the urn a confused look as she realized the oddity for the first time. "Nick…" spoke Judy, her voice thick with worry for Nick's well being. "Who's vase is that?"

Nick let out a forced laugh as he held the vase out to his fiancé. Opening his mouth to explain, Nick's words were cut off as his stomach blitzkrieged his throat. Pulling the urn to his muzzle, Nick filled the cheap receptacle with fox-stew.

The entire church went silent at the sound of Nick's expulsion. A collective breath was drawn as everymammal waited for an end.

Panting as he pulled his muzzle from the now half-full vase; Nick attempted, once again, to recollect himself with a convincing smile. It didn't work that time either…

"Oh, My, Goodness!" exclaimed Phillipe as he shoved Judy away from the ill fox. "You need to leave, **now**!" Clapping his paws together, Phillipe motioned for a large polar bear to pick Nick up and "escort" him out of the building.

Nick tried to call out to Judy, whom stood frozen in shock, but was set upon by the overly vibrant otter.

"We _cannot_ have you getting everyone sick, otherwise that voids my 'perfect-wedding guarantee,' so here." The otter followed Nick all the way out of the church, to where the polar bear had set him. "Take this card, it's for a friend of mine, he'll fix you up before tomorrow." Phillipe spoke over Nick's stuttered protests as he tucked a business card into Nick's front pocket. "And this is a tip for him; make sure you thank him for seeing you on such short notice."

Nick was silenced as the otter fished a folded hundred dollar bill from his wallet and thrust it at him. Nick's brain reveled in the shocked moment, prompting Phillipe to snap his fingers at the frozen fox.

"Come on, it's _your_ money… If I can't make you guys happy, I _can't_ take your money…"

Nick's mouth hung open as his eyes darted from the flamboyant otter to the outstretched bill and back.

Exhaling in exasperation, the otter tucked the bill into Nick's shirt pocket before straitening his tie for him.

"Pull it together, mammal" whispered Phillipe into Nick's ear. "You're gonna be fine; just remember…" The otter separated from Nick to go back into the church "Off without a hitch; guaranteed!"

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Dear Reader,**

Happy Tuesday, everybody! It feels great to be back. As promised, I will be uploading on a Tues, Thurs, Sun basis. As some of you may have guessed, Rocket (from Big Trouble) is going to be a reoccurring character in this story. Originally, I planned to use Clawhauser. However, he did not fit in very well with the story, and I couldn't use him to push Nick into making bad choices. Normally, I'd try to stay avoid having OCs play too big a part in a story; but let's be honest... we all know Rocket isn't _my_ character...

-Enjoy

Nick tapped a single digit on the worn bar top as he cracked open a peanut with his off paw. Eyes closed, the fox bobbed his head with the rhythm of the classic rock chords which caressed the bar's cheery air. Nick was collecting his thoughts and mending his frayed nerves, all the while wondering why he had never listened to more Head East.

Nick wasn't much of a drinker anymore, but some habits are inescapable in the darkest hour. Moreover, Nick always enjoyed the atmosphere of little hole-in-the-wall pubs; they helped him think and they always calmed his nerves.

"One whiskey on the rocks," the aged zebra bartender slid a coaster towards the fox, snapping him from his trance. Pinning the coaster under a short glass of whiskey, the striped equine hefted Nick's now empty vase onto the bar top next to the glass with a chuckle. "and one _squeaky_ clean vase; entirely de-foxed and ready for the antique show!"

"Thanks James…" Nick offered as he pulled the velvety whiskey towards himself. "I owe you one."

"Nah!" laughed the barkeep, throwing a rag over his should. "If I couldn't clean up a little stew every now-and-then… well I wouldn't be a very good bar keep now; woul' I?"

"Good point," replied Nick, blowing out a heavy breath of appreciation at the whiskey's subtle notes.

"'Sides," Continued the old zebra. "With all that you've done for me; we probably aren't even close to even."

"Don't mention it, James" assured Nick, waiving a paw at the comment.

Taking a step back, the barkeep snagged a mug from under the counter and began to polish it with his rag. "Don't see you 'round too often any more. Not since you joined the blue-stripes, anyways."

Nick chuckled a little at the comment. "Yeah, Judy's been keeping me busy; in a good way…" Nick's thought began to sour as his reality started to come back to him. "Speaking of stripes," blurted Nick in a bid to re-escape his current situation "if your fur gets any more grey, you're gonna stop looking like a zebra and animals are going to star assuming you're just a grey pony."

James let out only a half amused snort at the thought "Yeah, s'pose the bar's about due for a name change anyways…" The elder barkeep replaced the now polished cup and leaned absentmindedly against the back of the bar. "maybe we could be The Grey Bar, instead the White Stripes?"

Nick choked on his drink at the suggestion. "Yeah, the boys and I'll all be first in line for the opening of Sahara Squares newest Gray Bar…"

The pair shared a laugh at the absurdity of the suggestion. Seizing the moment, James decided to pry; "What's up Nick? Something's gotcha reeling; what happened?"

Nick fixed the bartender with a serious gaze as he steeled his resolve. "What makes you so sure anything's the matter?"

"Firstly; you come stumbling into my bar for the first time in years with a… vase full o' fox-stew. You're fur's still all slick like you just had a stroke. And finally," the barkeep pointed a black hoof for emphasis, "your tie's not all crooked like it's s'pose to be."

Nick let out a chuckle as James proudly folded his arms at the bested fox. Running his tongue across his teeth, Nick quickly "fixed" his tie and gathered his thoughts.

"You got me" said Nick holding his paws up in defeat. "So I'm supposed to get married on Saturday, right?"

"Ey," acknowledged the bartender with a nod.

"And well…" Nick stumbled on his words as he looked for a way to phrase his predicament.

"You got cold paws, do ya mate?" asked James.

"NO!" blurted Nick almost too forcefully, "I mean… no, _god no_ …" Swallowing hard Nick prepared to tell the truth, "Well I-"

"WELL LOOK WHO IT IS!" interrupted Rocket as he jumped up onto the barstool next to Nick, while Finnick climbed the chair to the opposite side of Nick. "IF IT ISN'T 'MR. NO-MONEY' HIMSELF!"

James blew out a disapproving snort at the appearance of the raccoon and miniature fox. "Boys…" acknowledged the zebra with a furrowed brow.

"THE REGULAR SWILL, MY GOOD MAMMAL" boasted Rocket, turning nearby heads with the sheer volume of his request. "AND A FROZEN TREAT FOR THE LITTLE KIT!" Rocket laughed at his own joke as he looked about for the approval of anyone who had the misfortune of not being able to escape his voice.

"Hello Rocket," growled Nick. "I trust you tipped Mr. John for me after you left…"

Finnick laughed as Rocket wilted with the thought of the intimidating tailor. "Yeah, he squared you away Nicky. With a tip like that; you're probably his favorite client now." Chuckling, Finnick slid a five towards the zebra barkeep with a nod.

"SO WHAT'S THIS?" requested Rocket, gesturing at all of Nick. "YOU CAN'T AFFORD A TIP, BUT YOU GOT MONEY TO GO BOOZING?"

"Phillipe gave me some money," growled Nick as he took a sip from his whiskey glass.

Both Finnick and Rocket recoiled at the name. "Who the hell is Phillipe?" asked Finnick. "You ain't messing with no loan shark, are you?"

"What?" asked Nick. "No, you… Knuckle head, the wedding planner. He gave me some money because I almost threw up on Judy."

"YOU _WHAT!"_ blurted Rocket, eyes wide with excitement.

"Oy," interjected James from across the bar "Trash-Panda; shu' it!"

Finnick snickered at Rockets death glare before continuing. "This mammal payed you money for throwing up on your fiancé? Maybe, he shouldn't be planning your wedding…"

"No," Nick pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "It's not… I swear this is why I avoid you two… He's got some sort of happiness guarantee... or something…"

Rocket's eyes lit up at Nick's statement. "Is that like a… money-back-guarantee?"

"Sort of," replied Nick "he calls it the 'Off Without a Hitch' clause. If everything isn't 'perfect' he can't take our money. It's the big reason why he cost so much… Why?"

Both Rocket and Finnick stayed suspiciously quiet at Nick's most recent revelation. Looking from fox to raccoon, Nick realized what they were thinking.

"No." Nick stated flatly.

"Awe come on!" replied both Finnick and Rocket in unison

"I said NO." repeated Nick, "this wedding is officially the only thing I have left, I'm not going to ruin it so that I can get my money back."

"No no no no…" said Finnick in a bid to get Nick's attention. "We're not going to _ruin_ anything… we'll just… interfere with it, you know? Raise a ' _little_ ' hell." The pint-sized fox held up his fingers to indicate size.

"No!" repeated Nick, "firstly the _only_ hell you raise _is_ little hell. And secondly no! what would we even do to 'interfere' without taking the whole wedding down in flames."

"The in-laws…" offered Rocket with a coy smile. "Everybody hates their in-laws. All we need to do is get somebody's old-fasioned father going and 'Boom!' big scene and even bigger money." Rocket dusted his paws to indicate a job well done.

"That's real great Rocket," replied Nick with growing edge in his voice. "But I don't have any family and Judy's parent, for some strange reason, actually _like_ me!"

"I could find you some family…" added Finnick with a pointed paw.

"Excuse me?" replied Nick with a look of complete disbelief.

"You want a racist, old-fashioned family; I can get you a whole litter of bomb-throwers." Finnick nodded his head excitedly for emphasis.

"No…" Nick interjected. "And no to you to" said Nick pointing to Rocket before he could even attempt to back Finnick up. "I don't want a racist family, I'm not going to sabotage my wedding, and I don't want to hear any more from either of you. I swear if either of you try _anything_ at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow… there _will be_ concequences..."

Nick looked back and forth between his two friends to ensure neither had any interjections.

"Now I'm leaving… again." Spat Nick as he downed his whiskey and picked up his vase. Dropping off his stool he shot a final glare at Rocket and Finnick "I was finally feeling better but you two have managed to outdo yourselves once again. You two can pay for my drink, and make sure you tip James for cleaning up my vase."

Shaking his head in disbelief Nick staggered out the front door of the bar and onto the sidewalk. Looking down the street, Nick ground his teeth together as he stared down the church which he had just been escorted out of. In this moment, Nick hated himself.

After an exceptionally nerve wracking walk, Nick found himself at the foot of Judy and his apartment building. Riding the elevator up to the 14th floor, Nick reveled in how comfortable his life had become. No loud neighbors, No pealing wall paper, no leaking pipes, and no escape.

Nick stepped into the confines of his and Judy's apartment, and felt physically ill. Making his way into the living room, Nick chuckled at what he saw.

Judy lay curled up on the couch, where she had presumably fallen asleep while making final preparations for the wedding. Newspaper and magazine clippings littered the couch cushions making it seem as though a newspaper had exploded directly on top of the sleeping bunny. Quietly, Nick set his vase next to their tiny TV set and made his way to the couch where Judy snored ever so lightly.

Running a paw down Judy's long grey ears, Nick let a soft chuckle escape him. Judy shifted slightly and made a soft sneezing sound. Cracking one eye lid, her sleepy face lit up at seeing Nick.

"Hay…" the bunny mumbled from her sleep.

"Hay Carrots…" whispered Nick.

"Are you okay? You look like you feel better…" Judy said as she made to sit up.

"Yeah, I'm a little better…" said Nick, scrubbing the back of his neck. "But, uh… We gotta talk…"

"Nope," said Judy sleepily as she held her arms out for Nick to pick her up. "Bed first, talk later."

Nick chuckled slightly as he scooped up his fiancé. It didn't matter how long they were together or apart, the doe rabbit could turn Nick's most bitter moments sweet without any effort. Judy had a way with his heart.

Nick carried the sleepy doe rabbit back to their shared bedroom before laying her on their bed. "Listen carrots…" Nick started before his stomach began to tie itself in knots again. "I need to tell…" *grumble* "t-tell you that I-I…" *wine*

"Are you okay?" asked Judy waking up a little at Nick's plight.

Nick searched for an out. He needed to escape, he wanted to run, he _had_ to leave the conversation before he died.

"Yeah…" Nick let out a pained exhale as he tried to recollect himself. "Listen, Fluff… I've got some… _stuff_ to do tomorrow. So, I'm gonna sleep on the couch so I don't make you sick, okay?"

Nick gave Judy an entirely unconvincing smile, but the worn rabbit was in no position to argue. "Okay," pouted the doe. "You escape this time Nicholas…"

Nick leaned in to kiss his already sleeping fiancé on the head, before tucking her in and leaving the bedroom.

Once in the living room, Nick cleaned up Judy's clippings and curled up on the couch. The fox's stomach sang wale songs in protest of his cowardice. Nick prayed for sleep to take him.

As the fox slowly drifted to sleep, the last thing he saw was the hauntingly cheap floral urn; which surely would be his demise.

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Dear Reader,**

Thank you all for tuning in to another Wilde chapter of Off Without A Hitch. Once again, if you have made it this far into my latest story without reading either the Fox In Bunnyburrows, or Big Trouble; I strongly suggest that you do yourself a favor and read both of those stories. Just a heads up, this chapter is a tad bit smaller than I normally like. Usually, I would simply attach the chapter to either the beginning or end of another chapter. However, this portion needed to stand on its own, in order to propperly build up to the events of Sunday's chapter...

-Enjoy

"SO, REMIND ME WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE AGAIN?"

Nick shot the overtly loud raccoon a death glare as he was pulled back to reality. The odd duo was dressed to the nine, standing in a suspiciously pretty neighborhood on the outskirts of Zootopia. If Nick didn't know any better, He'd assume that they were there to case the locals, or direct a funeral. Looking down, the fox frowned at the hauntingly familiar vase, which now had a cheap bouquet of flowers sticking out of it's top.

" _You_ are here because I couldn't get a hold of Finnick this morning," replied Nick in an exhausted tone. "And _we_ are here to visit my last living relative… to see… if..."

"HE'LL HELP US RUIN YOUR WEDDING?" blurted Rocket, earning him another scowl from Nick.

"Firstly; _she_ , not _he_ …" spat Nick as he straitened his tux, and checked the time on his phone. "Secondly; volume, and third; we are _not ruining_ anything." Nick was sure to double check that the raccoon understood him before continuing. "Now we've gotta hurry, otherwise we'll be dead _and_ late."

"So whose house is this again?" asked the raccoon as they began the short pilgrimage from the sidewalk to the front door.

"It belongs to G-Ma…" said Nick with a hint of dread.

"WAIT! _YOU_ HAVE A GRANDMA?" laughed Rocket. "SHE MUST BE ANCIENT!"

"Well she's as horrible as she is old; so strap in." said Nick.

"But look at all these cute little lawn ornaments!" reasoned Rocket as they marched up Nick's grandmother's walkway. "Anybody who has a yard this cute can't be too bad."

Stopping dead in his tracks, Nick spun to face his raccoon counterpart. "I can almost guarantee that she did _not_ buy a single one of those. Understand?"

Rocket face briefly knotted up in confusion before lighting up in excitement. "I can't believe I'm finally going to get to meet your family…"

Nick exhaled deeply before turning about to face the adorable-white-vinyl door of his grandmother's house. Wrapping his knuckles on the cheap surface, both Nick and Rocket were surprised when the door creaked open on impact.

Peeking into the seemingly abandoned house, Nick gave the door a quick push and called into the house; "G-ma? You home?"

The two mammals exchanged concerned glances before slowly making their way into the dusty abode. Following the sounds of a TV, both Rocket and Nick caught their breath in shock as they entered the living room.

Across from the ancient tube television sat a fragile, and very grey fox, wrapped in a moth-eaten shall. Nick's grandmother lay motionless in a worn recliner, which amazingly seemed to be even older than she was. A half-smoked cigarette hung from her lips as her vacant eyes stared at the ceiling.

"Oh-no…" mumbled Nick as he brought a single paw to his mouth. Setting his vase of flowers down on a counter, Nick moved to turn off the ancient vixen's television while Rocket moved in closer to inspect Nick's grandmother.

The old fox's muzzle was leathered and almost entirely devoid of fur and whiskers. Her mouth was wrinkled and hung in a frown which not even death could wipe away. Rocket picked up the little-old-animals glasses from where they hung, on a beaded thread around her neck, and placed them at the tip of her nose. She wasn't breathing.

Turning to face Nick as he approached, Rocket offered a soft "I'm sorry mammal…"

The two stared down at Nicks last remaining shred of family for an impassible moment. Slowly, Rocket reached out and Picked up a small glass from the old-lady's side-table.

"What are you doing?" hissed Nick as he stared daggers at the insensitive raccoon.

"What?" asked Rocket with a shrug. "Like she's gonna miss her Vodka-Cran' now?"

Nick's rebuttal was cut off as an ancient grey and brown paw snatched Rocket's wrist.

"THIEF!" screamed the elder fox. "HELP! THIEF!"

Both mammals jumped back in shock as the deceased fox shrieked at her intruders. Before either animal could attempt to calm the elder beast, she had thrown herself on top Rocket.

Rocket staggered backwards and smashed into a china cabinet all the while the tiny aged fox bludgeoned him with her cane. Rocket let out a yelp as Nick's ferocious grandmother chomped down on one of his guarding paws.

"G-ma No!" yelled Nick as he attempted to save his companion, but the ancient fox was a furious ball of rage, which was intent on destroying the invading Raccoon.

" **HAY!** " came an outside female voice, which halted all three brawling animals. " **What in all of Zootopia is going on here?!** "

Nick, Rocket, and G-ma all turned their attention to the very flustered Badger who now stood at the entrance to the living room.

"This _Trash-Panda_ and _miscreant fox_ broke into the house," spat the elder fox to the badger nurse. "And they were trying to steal _my_ booze!"

Nick shot Rocket a death glare before snapping his attention back to the now furious badger. "Wait, Wait, WAIT!" stuttered Nick as he pulled himself away from the gaggle of fighting mammals. "I'm Caroline's grandson; Nicholas Wilde. We're here to visit."

"Visitors?" asked the badger as she began to realize the fox and raccoon were not a threat. "Who would want to visit her?"

"Hay now," replied Nick, hurt apparent in his voice. "Don't talk about G-ma like that."

"BAH!" barked the elder fox as she retrieved her drink from Rocket's non-bitten paw and jumped off of him. "Like _you_ ever visited…"

Seizing the moment of respite, Rocket scurried away from the vicious predator, cradling his now bleeding paw. "I can't imagine _why_ he never visits" laughed Rocket as he wrapped a handkerchief about his mauled paw.

"Mmm-hm," nodded the badger as she moved in to tend to Rockets injury. "Even the post-mammal knows better than to come a knockin'…"

"So!" spat Nick's grandmother as she reclaimed her reclining throne. "What are you doing here, hmmm? I thought you said you never wanted to see me again!"

Nick barked a nervous laugh as he attempted to keep his childhood memories at bay. "Actually G-ma, it's funny because; _you_ were actually the one who said… that _you_ never wanted to see _me_ again… Remember?"

The badger nurse cocked an eye brow as she looked from fox to fox; attempting to analyze the first visitor that Caroline had receiver in the over a decade of care she had been giving.

"Ha!" barked Nick's grandmother. "I _did_ say that didn't I!" a sinister smile graced the elder female's muzzle as she continued. "So what are you doing here then?"

"Well, G-ma…" Nick nervously straitened his tuxedo as Rocket returned to his side. "I'm here, because I'm getting married…" Nick smiled nervously at his grandmother as he attempted to read the seemingly disgusted look which his grandmother had been giving him. "And I thought that the last surviving member of my family should be there…"

Caroline's attention jumped from Nick to Rocket and back several times before finally settling back on her grandchild.

"I always knew you were a fruit" muttered the deplorable old fox.

Nick's mouth hung open in shock at what he had just heard. Meanwhile, Rocket had clapped his paws to the side of his face in excitement and started bouncing from foot to foot.

"You know what, forget this" said Nick as he spun on his heels and made to leave the house.

"WAIT!" barked Rocket as he chased Nick to the front door.

Grabbing Nick by the shoulder and spinning him around, the raccoon continued; "where are you going? She's _PERFECT!_ "

"Perfect?" seethed Nick. "She bit you, told me to go away and called us gay! All in… under five minutes!"

"But I _love_ her!" replied Rocket. "And if I got in a tizzy every time someone bit me; well I'd have no friends."

"Rocket," said Nick, scrubbing the bridge of his snout in frustration "I don't think those people count as friends and secondly-"

"If I may…" This time it was the badger nurse whom had bore witness to the previous madness. "In the thirteen years that I've been Caroline's care taker, I've never _once_ seen her smile. Now look at her."

Peaking around the corner all three animals could see the deplorable old candid chuckling to herself as she sipped her drink, and turned back on the TV.

"And I sure as hell aint _ever_ seen her laugh," finished the badger.

"Well, I'm sure the devil doesn't laugh that much either, but that doesn't mean he gets an invite to my wedding" countered Nick. "Come on Rocket, were leaving."

Turning on his heels, Nick exited the house and realized that Rocket had not followed.

"Come on, Rocket, were going to be late to the dress rehearsal" called the frustrated fox from the front lawn of the house.

"Nick…" pleaded Rocket. "Thirteen years mammal… THIRTEEN!"

Nick stood his ground; "I am not inviting G-ma to _destroy_ my wedding!"

"We neeeed her…" pleaded Rocket. "And she needs you to…"

"If I may, Nicholas…" said the Badger, making her way into the conversation. "If you two bring her, we can use my handicap van, and I'll be there the entire time to help."

Nick's resolve began to buckle, but he attempted to stand his ground.

"You'll pay to make sure she has a caregiver, but you won't invite her to your wedding…" said the badger, now cross with Nick's actions. "That's cold Mr. Wilde, very cold… Well I suppose I'll see you two again in thirteen years."

With that, the nurse ushered Rocket out the front door and made to close it behind him.

"Wait!" barked Nick, dread already welling up inside him…

Both the badger and Rocket looked on expectantly, waiting for the verdict.

"She can come…"

Rocket and the nurse simultaneously jumped for joy as Nick scrubbed a knuckle into his brow line. "But you two have to take her in the Van. Rocket, give me your keys… I can't be late to my own dress rehearsal."

While Rocket fished the car keys out of his suit jacket, the nurse excitedly made her way back into the house to retrieve Nick's grandmother. Tossing the keys to Nick, Rocket offered an excited "SEE YOU AT CHURCH!"

Sitting himself in the driver's seat of Rocket's sports car, Nick was hit by the overwhelming urge to crash himself into a lamp post.

"How tragic; and the day before his wedding no less…" Nick mumbled to no one in particular. Shaking his head, Nick said a quick prayer and drove off into the city.

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Dear Reader**

Thank you all very much for joining me on this lovely Sunday for another chapter of the American Classic; Off Without a Hitch. A huge shout out to Zootopia for winning the golden globe for best animated feature! In this chapter, we pick up some steam and some pieces start to fall into place... or out of place... it depends on how you look at it...

-Enjoy

Skidding into an open parking spot, Nick checked the clock on his phone, and cursed.

He was late.

Running to the front of the church, Nick's feet skid dangerously on the polished marble of the church's front steps. Charging the stares, Nick ran to the churches large double doors, threw them open, and ran straight into Judy.

"Oh, sorry fluff!" panted Nick, as he wrapped himself around Judy. Attempting to keep from bowling over, Nick inadvertently scooped the doe rabbit into his arms as he staggered the rest of the way into the church.

"Hay!" said Judy in surprise. "Come here often?"

The fair shared a quick laugh and a kiss before separating.

"I was just looking for you," said Judy, rocking back and forth in excitement. "I was beginning to worry that you were gonna leave me at the alter…"

"Who, me?" asked Nick in feigned disbelief "why I'd nve-" Nick's words caught in his throat as he finally took a moment to admire his soon to be wife. Judy wore a flowy blue dress, which billowed out around her knees, and clung adorably to her athletic form. About her neck, was an ornate silver necklace which was punctuated by several blue stone that matched her dress. "You look amazing carrots…." Said Nick.

The rabbit instantly lit up with a bright pink blush at the compliment. "Oh, thank you!" said Judy with a wave of her paw. "It's just a little something for the rehearsal… you don't get to see the actual wedding dress until tomorrow."

"Well I absolutely love it," said Nick, taking Judy's paws in his own. "We could get married right now, and I'd have no problem with that."

Judy giggled a little before going in for a kiss. However, the pair were snapped back to reality as something very heavy was knocked over in the other room.

"What was that," asked Nick as both his and Judy's ears zeroed in on the disturbance.

"Oh!" spoke Judy. "You never told me that you still had family left!"

Nick's heart sank as he connected the dots. "Oh-no, did G-ma beat me here?"

"G-ma?" asked Judy, face crumpled in confusion. "No, Nick, your cousins… They're kind of… loud…"

"My what?" asked Nick as he moved towards the sanctuary doors. "Judy, I don't have _any_ cousins…"

Pushing open the doors from the church's lobby to the sanctuary, Nick was entirely dumbfounded by what he saw.

An army of miniature sand-foxes filled the pews of the church, all the while Phillipe made laps in a fruitless attempt to quell in-fighting and property damage. The source of the loud noise appeared to be a pew, which the foxes had upended.

"Finnick brought them with him…" said Judy as she reclaimed her position at Nick's side. "He said that they were your nieces and nephews… Nick, why would you invite all your nieces and nephews, but none of their parents?"

Nick looked down at Judy's questioning eyes and forced a flustered smile. "Ha, well the funny thing is…" Nick let a nervous laugh escape as he attempted to puzzle together what was happening. "You see, it's kind of like…" Nick's attention darted from fennec fox to fennec fox in a desperate search for answers. Finding his target, Nick darted off "Hold that thought, I'll be right back." Leaving Judy dumbfounded, Nick charged the crowd.

"Finnick!" yelled Nick as he closed in on the guilty party. "What in all of zootopia do you think you're doing?" spat Nick.

"Hay, Nick! I trust you've met the family?" replied the miniature fox, waving a paw broadly at the chaos around them.

"I have," said Nick, anger bubbling up in his tone "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I thought... I thought we had a plan-" spoke Finnick, before cutting himself short.

"What plan?" asked Judy.

Both Nick and Finnick turned to face Judy, whom had made her way to bickering mammals. In her arms was a full grown fennec fox, whom was mascaraing as a kit. Nick's jaw clenched in anger as he looked from the grown fox's superhero print shirt to his propeller hat.

"Nick," continued Judy, cocking her head to the side in confusion. "What plan?"

"What plan?" repeated Nick to the confused bunny, "why would I be planning anything? Besides a wedding of course!" Both Nick and Finnick bore forced smiles as they attempted to dodge the question. "Hay, Carrots, I need to talk with Finnick for a moment; okay?"

Before Judy could reply, Nick snatched Finnick up by the collar of his suit jacket and carried the miniature culprit out of the room and into a side hallway.

"What the hell!" spat Nick as he dropped Finnick back onto the floor.

"You shouldn't cures in church…" scolded Finnick, earning him a furious glare from Nick.

"I don't care _where_ we are; what on earth did you do?!" demanded Nick, pointing furiously to the closed sanctuary door.

"You said we needed to kick up some family drama, remember?" asked Finnick. "You said we needed to kick up some dust at the rehearsal so that you could get your refund; so I got 'the gang' together and dressed them up as kits. Easy-peasy." Finnick clapped his paws together in the universal gesture of work well done.

Nick ground a furious knuckle into his temple so hard he thought he might burn away his fur on accident. Opening and closing his mouth several times, Nick was at a complete loss for words.

"And look," continued Finnick, unaware of how close he was coming to death. "That otter's been scribbling on that little clipboard of his the whole time, he's probably discounting everything that's gone wro-"

Nick cut Finnick off as he grabbed him by the lapel and hoisted the fox up to head height. " **ARE YOU INSANE?!** " shouted Nick. " **I TOLD YOU** _ **NOT**_ **TO RUIN MY WEDDING! I GAVE YOU ONE JOB!** " Nick shook his pint sized companion as he spoke before a heavy hoof gabbed his shoulder.

"Easy there, son… I know it's a stress full day for you, but that's no reason to yell in the house of the lord."

Nick's rage was momentarily snuffed out as the hoof moved from his shoulder to scoop Finnick out of his clutches. Turning to the imposing equine whom had saved Finnick, Nick was embarrassed to realize that it was the father, whom had scolded him.

"There there my child," spoke the imposing draft horse to Finnick, whom he now rocked in his arms "Now what did you do to make your daddy so angry, hm?"

"I'm sorry Father," offered Nick as he attempted to recollect himself. "I-I was just-"

"Shhh," the holy draft horse softly shushed Nick with a smile. "I'm Bishop Clyde Douglas" offered the robed horse, extending a massive hoof to shake.

Nick nervously shook the bishop's imposing hoof, and thought that it would dwarf even Chief Bogo's grip. "Nicholas Wilde," replied Nick "And that's Finnick."

"Hmm," acknowledged the horse. "We were supposed to meet yesterday, but I heard you got sick…" Clyde returned his attention to Finnick with a smile, whom now fought to try and escape the Bishop's clutches. "Judy didn't mention that you had a son, is he from a previous marrage?"

"Actually, father…" Nick's attention jumped to the window behind the father as he recognized a badger driving a large mobility van. "Finnick's not… Oh, no…"

Nick spun on his heels and began to run out of the church, leaving Finnick to the bishop's clutches. In the distance, Nick could barely make out Finnick's ironically deep voice attempting to reason with the massive horse.

Bursting into the lobby, on his way out of the church, Nick ran head long into Judy's family.

"Nick!" bellowed Stu excitedly. "How the heck are you son?!" The elder rabbit wrapped the fox in a giant bunny hug which lifted Nick off of his rear paws.

Looking about, Nick was horrified to see that Judy and her two parents had arrived, along with a dozen or so of Judy's younger siblings.

"Stu, put him down; will you?" scolded Bonny with a playful elbow to the ribs. Stu laughed and readily obliged, placing Nick back on his feet. "Nick, it's very good to see you again; and you look _so_ handsome!" Bonny stepped forward to give Nick a much less violent hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hay… guys…." said Nick nervously, eyes darting about the lobby in search of an escape-route. "What are all of you doing here?"

"They're here for the rehearsal, Nick, Remember?" Judy said as she moved forward. Judy's face crumpled slightly in concern as she approached Nick. "Are you okay, Nicky?"

"Yeah!" barked Nick entirely too forcefully as sweat began to form under his fur. "No, I mean; I'm completely fine. Why would you ask that?" Nick forcibly snapped his own jaws shut with his own paws, earning himself an array of worried glances from his bunny audience. In Nick's mind, a mental timer was ticking down until his grandmother would be wheeled in, and the day completely ruined.

"So…" spoke Stu, breaking the worried tension. "Judy says you brought family… a _lo_ t of family…"

"They're not mine!" blurted Nick without thinking. The fox was much to preoccupied with finding a way to escape and stop his grandmother from ruining everything, to navigate the conversational repercussions of his situation. "I mean," Nick choked "They aren't _really_ my family all my family's dead…" a collective gasp escaped the bunny crowd. "Except one, but she's… _something else_ …."

"Nick," Judy asked, extending a paw to the fox's wrist "Then whose family is that?"

"It's Finnick's," laughed the fox nervously. "You see, it's funny really; Finnick and I were talking, and I mentioned that all my family is dead." Another gasp escaped the crowd. "So he's all like; 'I'll just invite my family.' I told him no; because his family is obnoxious, but then he brought them anyways! Bite-Me, right?"

Nick snapped his mouth shut with both paws as a look of horror spread across all of the mammal's collective faces. In mixed company, Nick had inadvertently said what is potentially the worst slur a predator can make to any prey species. Nick's eyes widened in shock and horror before he spun on his heels and made a dash for the door; leaving the petrified rabbits behind.

Fleeing the church, Nick smashed head-long into Rocket; whom with the Nurse's help was escorting Nick's grandma via wheelchair.

"Get a room!" scoffed the deplorable old fox, jabbing at the tangled mammals with her cane.

Nick separated himself from the raccoon, and yanked his groom's mammal off of the ground.

"She needs to leave!" said Nick with more than a hint of panic "Now!"

"BUT SHE JUST GOT HERE!" retorted Rocket.

" **No!** " snapped Nick. "Finnick brought his whole family, it's already a disaster! She needs to leave!"

"NICK!"

Both Rocket and Nick jumped and spun on their heels to face a very angry Judy Hopps.

"What the _hell_ was that!" spat the furious rabbit, as she stormed out of the church, to where Nick and Rocket had been bickering. However, as she came within striking distance of the duo, she seemed to loose all steam. "Is that…"

Judy trailed off as she looked past Nick and Rocket. Stepping aside, Nick dropped his guard as he realized that Judy wasn't going to kill him just yet.

Nick chuckled slightly at how quickly Judy's burning rage had summersaulted into curious wonder. Straitening his suit, Nick put his arm around Judy's shoulder as he regarded his grandmother.

"G-ma, I want you to meet Judy…" Nick smiled nervously down at Judy as she curled into Nick's side for protection. "She's the animal I'm going to marry tomorrow…"

"Hi…" spoke the uncharacteristically shy rabbit as she moved forward from Nick's side with a wave. "It's nice to meet you…" Judy looked to Nick for a name.

"Caroline," offered Nick with a nervous nod.

"Grandma Caroline… I love you're grandson _very_ much, and It's so nice to finally meet you." Judy paused to shoot a reassuring smile back at Nick.

Nick returned the smile before saying yet another prayer.

The ancient fox squinted her glassy eyes at Judy in an attempt to better make out whom was in front of her. With a small grunt, the old fox climbed to out of her wheel chair and brought her spectacles to her snout.

Judy's ears folded back defensively as the decrepit fox stepped closer to better inspect her grandson's choice of mate.

Silence hung for an impassible moment as the elder fox sniffed the air around Judy before finally recoiling.

"No!" snapped the deplorable fox, breaking Judy's heart. "No No No!"

"Nick!" Judy stammered as she jumped backwards away from the scoffing vulpine. "She hates me…"

"Judy, wait…" Nick attempted to console his damaged love, but was not quick enough. Judy had darted around her fiancé and was rapidly cresting the stairs of the church.

"Rocket, I told you!" snapped Nick before taking off after Judy. Nick could still hear his grandmother's crooning all the way up the steps. "Judy!" he yelled as he heard something crash inside the church. Flinging open the doors, Nick was pushed backwards by a very disheveled otter with a clipboard.

"Nicholas, we need to talk!" Spat Phillipe.

"Not now," panted Nick as he attempted to side step the blocking otter. Nick watched Judy run past the crowd of her confused family members, and make a bee-line for the bridal changing room. Setting his jaw, Nick attempted to pursue the fleeing rabbit, but was once again blocked as the furious otter slipped under his arm and back in front of him.

"Now, Nicholas!" Phillipe almost yelled, as he held his clipboard up to block Nick's view.

Growling, Nick shoved away the clip-board as he tried, once again, to follow his emotionally fractured fiance. However, a searing pain in the fox's ear made him yelp, and stagger backwards.

Grumbling to himself in disbelief, Phillipe had grabbed a fist-full of fox ear, which he was now using to lead Nick out of the church lobby. On his way past the church's double doors, Phillipe grabbed Rocket as well; whom had the great misfortune of bursting in on the furious water mammal as he drug away Nick.

In a flurry of yelps and fur, Rocket and Nick found themselves thrown into two ornate chairs in the commandeered office of the church's bishop. Both mammals massaged the pain in their crumpled ears, as the exceptionally flustered otter took up residence on the opposite side of the Bishop's desk. Throwing down his clip-board on to the desk, Phillipe shot the offending predators twin death-glares.

"Where's the rest of you," spat the otter accusingly. "The little one; _your_ best mammal?"

Nick and Rocket exchanged confused glances before the door to the office burst open.

"PUT-ME-DOWN!" exclaimed Finnick, finally breaking free of the mighty draft-horse's arms. "I'm a grown-ass-mammal, you-"

"You shouldn't curse in church," stated Rocket flatly, looking over the back of his chair at the intruding animals.

Both Finnick and Bishop Clyde jumped slightly in shock at seeing that they were not alone. Straitening his robe's nervously, the tall horse opened his muzzle to speak before being cut off by the still frustrated otter.

"Thank you, Father Douglas" said Phillipe. "We were _just_ looking for Finnnick."

Shooting a death-glare upwards at his ex-captor, Finnick climbed up into an open chair and took his place next to Nick and Rocket.

"So," said Phillipe, taking a second to massage his temples as the draft horse joined him on the accusing side of the desk. "I have taken the liberty of _canceling_ the dress rehearsal."

Nick opened his mouth to protest, but was silenced by the otter's returning glare.

"Mr. Wilde," continued the otter "I trust you had good reason for inviting twenty-eight unaccompanied minors..." Phillipe let out an exasperated sigh as he checked his clip board, and missed the icy glare which Nick had delivered to his pint-sized companion. "But either invite their parents to tomorrows ceremony, or leave them at home.. At least I can write-off paying for the damages they caused, as a generous donation to The Church on my taxes."

The bishop let out a snort of approval at the otters comment.

"On top of refunding the cost of the dress rehearsal," Phillipe paused as he pulled out a small calculator from inside his suit jacket and began to punch buttons, causing the guilty party's ears to all perk up with interest. "I'm going to add an additional reparation for the emotional trauma caused by your... grandmother."

Nick's throat tightened up with guilt as he envisioned Judy, still locked up in the bridal-room.

"Speaking of which," added Phillipe, taking a moment to glare over the top of his calculations. "I trust that we can find a way to _deal_ with your elder before tomorrow, Mr. Wilde?"

Nick opened his mouth to comment, before being cut off by Rocket; "She wont be a problem, sir!"

Nick shot the excited raccoon a skeptical look before returning his attention to the wedding planner. "I think we'll be able to work something out."

"Good..." mumbled the otter, not entirely confident in either animal. "Now, I'm going to refund you a lump sum of fifteen-thousand dollars for today..."

Both Finnick and Rocket's jaws dropped at the spoken amount. Meanwhile, Nick simply nodded his understanding to the otter.

"And if I were you," continued the planner, entirely ignoring Nick's cohorts. "I would use your new-found-wealth to do something... _nice_... for your spouse, seeing as you've _really_ earned it."

Nick made to thank the otter for his generous care, but was silenced by a disgusted shake of the animal's head, and a lofted paw.

"Now," finished the otter as he collected his belonging from the bishop's desk. "Seeing as there is nothing left for you three to ruin today, I'd say you're all free-to-go..."

With a quick nod, Nick sprung from the chair and dashed through the church. Making his way to the bridal-room, where Judy had disappeared, Nick made to grab the door-knob, but stopped just short of entry. The fox's mind swam with guilt, as he tried to think of what he might say or do. Instead of barging in, Nick elected to knock on the door.

The door stood quiet for a long while before a reply final came from withing. "Who is it?" asked Judy. From the shaking of her voice, it was easy to tell that she had been crying.

"It's me..." replied Nick. "Carrots, is it okay if I come in?"

"No..." replied Judy. "I've been crying, a-a-and now I'm all gross..."

Nick chuckled slightly at Judy's reply. "Alright, I won't come in yet..." Nick turned and sat down with his back to the door. "You gonna be okay Fluff?"

The door stood silent for a long while, as Nick listened to the sound of his love moving about the room. "Yeah..." came Judy's shaky voice. "I really see where you get your charm from, now..."

Nick laughed at the remark, and smiled at the sound of Judy's chuckle. "If it makes you feel any better; she reacted the same way when my mom introduced me to her for the first time." Nick's ears perked up at the sound of Judy's muffled laughter.

The separated duo sat silently for a moment, taking stock of their emotions.

"Hay Judy?" asked Nick.

"Yeah?" replied the rabbit.

"Can I come in yet?" asked the fox with a slight smile. "We've been apart so long; I think I'm actually forgetting your face..."

Judy's single chuckle assured Nick that everything was going to be okay. "Not yet, you big dope" replied Judy. "I'm gonna wash my face first, so that I don't look like a disaster the day before our wedding."

"Alright..." agreed Nick, folding his arms at his fiance. "Five minutes, and then I'm coming in there weather you like it or not!"

Judy's giggle faded as she moved away from the door. Checking the time on his phone, Nick was surprised when he looked up to see that Rocket and Finnick had found him.

"No," said Nick flatly, climbing back to his feet. "I am not dealing with either of you right now."

"Relax, mammal" said Rocket, holding his paws out to the side innocently "we got you the money back, didn't we?"

"At what cost?" spat Nick. "Hmm, riddle me that!"

"Easy Nick," replied Finnick in an attempt to de-escalate the situation. "We're all done now, there's no need crying over the past."

"The past?" asked Nick, rage bubbling up from within. "That was fifteen minutes ago!" Nick took a deep breath breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry... this whole things got me on edge, you know?"

"Yeah, mammal" said Rocket with a surprisingly understanding nod "I totally get you. It's a big day for you; you know?"

"Th-thanks..." stuttered Nick, slightly shocked at Rocket's suspiciously understanding nature. "Thank you, Rocket. I'm glad you guys understand." Nick took the moment of respite the straiten his suit jacket before turning to face the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm waiting for my fiance to let me back into her life."

Rocket and Finnick exchanged confused glances behind Nick's back. "Who?" asked Rocket.

"Judy" replied Nick, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves.

Rocket bit his knuckle as he carefully picked his next actions. Reaching around Nick, Rocket pushed the door open revealing an empty room.

"Umm..." Rocket pointed past Nick's shoulder to the room's open window before continuing. "Yeah... I may have told 'The Girls' to smuggle her out for a bachelorette party..."

Nick's shoulders dropped in disappointment as he connected the dots. Spinning on his heels to face the guilty party, Nick held up a paw to gesture height. "I'm up to here with you two... I swear to god..."

"You shouldn't swear in church, "added Rocket.

Nick simply furrowed his brow and re-emphasized his paw. "Up to here..."

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

**Dear Reader,**

I swear I'm still here... Don't give me that look! I'm going to offer a quick apology for not uploading on Tuesday or Thursday (like I promised). I got called in for some military BS, and was not able to rite on my usual schedule. So, to make it up to you guys, I've made this week's chapter extra long; because I know all you crazy mammals out there are all about the length. In any case, we take a quick detour through the underbelly of Zootopia; The Nocturnal District. Once again, if booze, boobies or any of those cuties aren't your bag... then I'm sorry.

Enjoy,

" **COME _OOOON_ NICK!"**

Rocket drug his paws as he walked, like a scolded child, while he attempted to reason with the focused candid. "WE HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH MONEY NOW; FINNICK AND I WILL 'INVEST' A SMALL PORTION AND YOUR GUYS' ACCOUNTS WILL BE FULL BY THE END OF NEXT WEEK! WE CAN FINALLY RELAX!"

"Maybe you didn't notice," snapped Nick, spinning on his heels to face the whining raccoon "but the last time I saw my fiancé, she had just been told that she couldn't marry me; by my last remaining family member. Whom _you_ insisted we bring!"

"HAY!" spat Rocket, leveling a pointed digit for emphasis. "YOU LEAVE G-MA _OUT_ OF THIS! SHE IS MISUNDERSTOOD IN OUR TIME!"

"Are we just going to gloss over the fact that Bishop Clyde was totally trying to abduct me?"

Both Nick and Rocket took a step back as they turned to face Finnick, whom had folded his arms at their Bickering. "We just _forget_ that he was carrying me away to the back-room of his church; for no discernible reason?" asked Finnick.

"Well…" Rocket scrubbed the back of his neck as he exchanged a confused and guilty look with Nick.

"I just assumed…" mumbled Nick as he tried to fit together the pieces, "that he brought you in because we were _all_ in trouble…"

"He didn't know you two were in trouble," assured Finnick tersely.

The trio stood in awkward silence for an inescapable minute as they connected the dots.

"Gross…" said Rocket, breaking the stalemate.

Finnick snapped, and hurled himself at the insensitive raccoon. Rocket pulled his paws up in a feeble attempt to guard his face, before being carried off his feet by the pint sized projectile. Nick simply shook his head and let out an exasperated sigh as the lights in the tiny airlock finally faded out.

The doors slid open, and Nick stepped out of the compartment and into the Nocturnal District. Taking a heady gulp of "fresh"-air, Nick looked about the glowing and thriving subterranean land scape. Straitening his tie, and flattening the front of his green button down, Nick stepped out of Finnick's way as he to exited the airlock.

The pint-sized fox still muttered to himself angrily as he flattened the hair on the back of his neck and wiped spit from the corner of his mouth. Turning about, Both Nick and Finnick regarded the last member of their party as he staggered out of the transitional gateway to the underground.

Nick Let out a chuckle as he stepped forward to help Rocket collect himself after the brief, yet savage, mauling Finnick had given him. "Honestly," Nick said as he straitened the collar of the raccoon's blazer; "if Finnick hadn't gotten you, it was only a matter of time before I did."

The raccoon gave a knowing nod of acknowledgement before wheezing; "Nope, I gotcha. I was totally out of line."

Finnick Chuckled slightly as he regained his composure.

"Now that we've all got that out of our systems," said Nick clapping his paws together. "I trust that you two can stop being awful for an hour and help me?"

Finnick and Rocket exchanged glances before asking in unison; "Bachelor party?"

Nick's shoulders dropped in defeat. "I s'pose it was too much to ask…"

"Awe, come on Nicky," said Finnick as they trailed the Fox through the midnight District. "We deserve… _You_ deserve to have a little fun after everything we've been through."

"We?" asked Nick, stopping dead in the middle of a busy walkway; which earned him several disapproving "looks" from a gaggle of moles which nearly crashed into him. "We haven't been through _squat!_ Judy is the one we should be worrying about. It has been Judy's wedding that we've been ruining; not ours. So _we_ aren't doing anything. I'm going to go check in on my fiancé and make sure she's ok."

"So we're gonna help you stock your bunny now, are we?" asked Finnick, folding his arms disapprovingly at Nick's plan.

"We're not _stocking_ anyone!" retorted Nick. "We're just going to swing in, say hi, and leave."

"Mmm-hm" said Rocket, mirroring Finnick's posture.

Nick opened and closed his mouth as he attempted to form a rebuttal, but ultimately failed. "Just… tell me what club they're in, Rocket."

The raccoon shot Nick an even more suspicious glance before pointing strait up to the massive Neon sign which had hung over their conversation, entirely ignored up until that point.

Nick's composure melted with disappointment as he read the two massive letters which adorned the front of the club. "Really, Rocket?" asked Nick futilely. "The Double D?"

"HAY, SOME PLACES NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE!" offered the raccoon with a shrug. "'SIDES, I HAVE UNLIMITED ACCESS TO THE VIP LOUNGE."

Nick ran a heavy paw across his face as he shook his head. "Is the 'Big-Boss' working tonight?"

Both Rocket and Finnick nodded their heads excitedly, confirming Nick's fear.

"Great…" mumbled Nick. "Well if I die tonight, be sure to tell Judy I _tried_."

With an all too excited smile, Rocket spun on his heels and lead the way into the partying den of mammals.

Weaving through the massive sprawling dance floor, Nick was sure not to lose sight of Rocket in the swirling mass of half-naked and dancing animals. Erupting out of the other side of the dancing hoard, Nick took stock of his surrounding and realized that Finnick had not made it through the sea of party.

"Where's Finnick?" yelled Nick in an attempt to communicate over the blasting music, which filled the atmosphere with rhythm.

Frantically looking about the inside of the club, Rocket finally stalled and pointed over the crowd to where Finnick lay, sprawled out in a body surf on the rhythmic ocean. A barked laugh escaped Nick as he recognized his companion being passed about the tops of the mosh-pit.

"What the hell is he doing?" laughed Nick, trying to formulate a plan to recover his castaway friend.

"IT LOOKS TO ME LIKE HE'S ENJOYING HIMSELF," said Rocket, fixing Nick with a knowing glare.

Nick bit the inside of his cheek as he processed the verbal jab. Looking from Rocket, to Finnick and back, Nick shook his head in resignation. "Okay…"

"WHAT?" asked Rocket, bringing a paw to his ear with a smirk.

"I get it, okay?" said Nick, turning his full attention to Rocket. "You're right, I need to relax a moment… but I still need to find Judy… then we can party."

The raccoon Shot Nick a sideways smile, before tapping a nearby guard to grab his attention. Gesturing to the miniature Fox, whom floated circles on the party-ocean's current, Rocket sent the imposing Siberian-tiger bouncer to retrieve Finnick for them.

"WHO EVER SAID THE TWO HAD TO BE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE?" asked Rocket, rubbing his paws together mischievously.

"What do you mean?" asked Nick, unsure of the raccoon's intentions.

"Eh," said rocket with a quick nod, "you'll see."

Before Nick could protest, the tiger had returned with Finnick in tow. Setting the pint-sized vulpine in their midst with a nod, the Siberian cat returned to his post at the large steel door which granted access to the club's more "private" quarters.

"Thank you, Roy" said Rocket as he held up a folded twenty for the imposing cat.

With a quick nod, the bouncer pocketed the bill and moved to open the door. "You bet boss, you need anything you let Roy know."

Rocket pat the massive predator on the hip as they walked past into the back rooms of the club. Looking up at the towering feline, Nick wondered if this was how Finnick felt all the time.

"NOW," blurted Rocket to his companions as the door swung shut, cutting out the inescapable din of the club outside. "IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, YOUR BUNNY SHOULD BE IN MY 'PERSONAL' LOUNGE…" the raccoon paused to check his watch as he began to lead the trio deeper into the inner workings of the club.

Stopping in front of another heavy door, which was guarded by a single imposing caribou, the trio caught the sound of female laughter.

"I think that's Judy," said Nick, tilting his head in an attempt to better listen to the ruckus on the other side of the door.

With a nod, Rocket gestured for the guard to step aside. Stacking up, the trio cracked the door just enough to peek inside.

Nick's breath caught as he looked past the door's open sliver. The decadent room was filled with a large group of Rocket's 'girls' whom had all pulled together for Judy. Cakes and wine glasses adorned the free countertops, and Nick's ears caught the sound of Judy's giggling coming from amongst the crowd. Craning his neck, Nick finally spotted his bunny and was relieved to see that she appeared to be genuinely happy. Nick made to open the door the rest of the way, but was pulled away by his compatriots.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked Finnick with surprising venom, While Rocket silently reclosed the door.

"I-I was going to go check on her," said Nick a little confused. "That's what we're here for, remember?"

Rocket shot Nick a disappointed look. "You realize the whole **point** of a bachelorette party is to _not_ see your spouse?"

Nick threw his paws up in defeat as he looked from fox to raccoon and back. "Well then what do you two knuckle-heads suppose I do instead?"

"I'M GLAD YOU ASKED," said the raccoon as he excitedly checked his watch and tapped its face with a claw for emphasis. "YOU WANT TO SEE JUDY, I SUGGEST YOU EARN IT…"

Nick turned to look down the hall where Rocket now pointed. As if by que, a group of ten or so scantily clad male mammals of different species turned the corner. Nick's jaw dropped as he took in the locker-room scene of mammalian perfection. The mixed crowd of large to small predators and prey all sported the same uniform; skin tight black bottoms, white cuffs and a black bow-tie.

"BOYS!" shouted Rocket, excitedly greeting the incumbent mammals. "I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO MEET NICHOLAS WILDE; THE BLUSHING GROOM TO BE."

The crowd briefly erupted in applause as several of the mammals stepped forward to shake his paw in congratulations. Nick chuckled nervously and thanked the excited crowd.

"NOW, YOU ARE ALL HERE FOR A VERY SPECIAL BUNNY'S VERY SPECIAL NIGHT…" continued Rocket. "AND I THINK YOU WILL ALL BE VERY EXCITED TO KNOW, THAT NICK WILL BE JOINING YOU ON THE FLOOR!"

Nick's eyes nearly bulged out of his head at Rocket's suggestion. However, before the fox could even comment, Rocket had cut him off. "You want to see Judy, now's your chance to earn it!" Turning to the crowd of excited mammals, Rocket clapped his paws together and yelled "TAKE HIM AWAY BOYS!"

Nick was carried off his feet and into a nearby room by the hoard of boisterous Chip and Dale Mammals. Despite his best protests, Rocket mandated that Nick be locked in a changing room and not released until he changed into something more "appropriate" for the occasion.

Gritting his teeth together in bitter resignation, Nick knocked on the door to his changing prison. Nick's ears flicked about as he caught the sound of hushed commotion, coming from the other side of the door. The door cracked open a little, and one of the dancers from earlier, a fit Impala, peaked in on him. The impala's muzzle lit up with excitement at Nick's new outfit, before disappearing from view. Suddenly, the door flew open, and Nick was regarded by the group of male dancers. Thunderous applause and cheers lit up the room as Nick stepped out of his prison and into the lime-light. Chuckling at the absurdity of his situation, Nick did a full cat-walk and turn-around, showing off his physic to the applause and laughter of those around him. Looking down himself, Nick attempted to adjust the waist-line of his low-riding pants so that they could at least _attempt_ to cover his decency.

"ALRIGHT, MAMMALS!" shouted Rocket, re-entering the room with Finnick close behind. "NICK HAD BETTER BE OUT OF THAT ROOM, OTHERWISE WE'RE LEAVING HIM!"

The group parted around Rocket and Finnick allowing them to meet with Nick in the middle, before encircling the trio. Rocket and Finnick had also changed in Nick's absence, but were dressed much more conservatively than the fox. The duo sported matching Pink three piece suits, and Rocket now carried a pink cane in the crook of his arm, while Finnick supported a pile of plastic Bunny masks.

Finnick let loose a deep chuckle before being silence by Nick's death glare. "Happy now?" asked Nick, holding his paws out in presentation.

"YES!" said Rocket, snapping his fingers into a point at his scantily clad companion. "Gotta say Nicky, that bunny's a lucky gal!"

Nick shook his head in embarrassment as the surrounding crowd cackled lightly.

"So do I get to talk to my fiancé yet?" asked Nick, entirely unamused.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GO _TALK_ TO THE BACHELLORETTE?" shouted Rocket. "MAMMAL, YOU GOTTA EARN IT!"

"What?" asked Nick, entirely confused as Rocket spun on his heels and cut away through the crowd.

"Watch and learn," laughed Finnick as he began to pass out masks to all of the scantily clad mammals.

Before Nick could form a rebuttal, He was thrown a matching mask, and forced into line with the rest of the sculpted animals. Nick instinctively followed his cohorts and strapped on the bunny face mask, before his ears caught rocket's voice coming from the other side of the curtain wall, which presumably separated them from Judy's bachelorette party.

"LADIES AND BENGAMIN…" came Rockets voice. Nick swallowed hard as he hoped that he had misheard Rocket's last word. "WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL LINE-UP FOR YOU ALL TONIGHT… HAILING FROM ALL DISTRICTS, AND THE FURTHEST CORNERS OF ZOOTOPIA; I HAVE ASSEMBLED THE _FINEST…_ " Rocket paused for emphasis, earning a round of cheers from the boisterous females. "AND MOST DILECTABLE SPECIMINES OUR FINE CITY HAS TO OFFER!"

Nick's heart felt as thou it might beat right out of his chest as he tried his best to maintain his composure.

"I PRESENT TO YOU ALL… THE NIGHT'S ENTERTAINMENT!"

Nick's legs went numb, and he was almost stepped on as the line of Chip and Dales made their move onto center stage. Nick reclaimed his composure just in time to exit backstage, and form a line on the display side of the curtains. Nick felt ill, but channeled his years of hustling to maintain a confident exterior. Taking in his surroundings, Nick saw that the stage sported a small cat-walk which jetted outwards into the midst of the crowd. At the cat-walk's end stood a single pole, whole purpose was unmistakably non-structural. Searching the miniature crowd, Nick found it almost impossible to look past the edge of the stage with every light in the room directed squarely at him.

Rocket waved his cane about in a gesture which silenced the cheering crowd.

"MMM-MMH," hummed the raccoon, before kissing his fingers in delight. "THEY ARE _ALL_ QUIET AMAZING, AREN'T THEY NOW; LADIES AND BENGAMINE…"

Nick's heart skipped a beat as he realized he hadn't misheard Rocket the first time.

"BUT MY OH MY, WHO SHOULD GET WHAT?" asked the raccoon, a sinister grin spreading across his muzzle. "LADDIES, I'M HAVING A SPOT OF TROUBLE FINDING THE NIGHT'S 'GUEST OF HONNOR'… COULD ALL OF YOU HELP ME OUT?"

The audience exploded in cheers as a single spot light fell on the crowd, illuminating a slightly embarrassed Judy Hopps. Laughter erupted, to Nick's horror, as Benjamin Clawhauser scooped up the bunny in question and carried her to the lead seat at the end of the cat-walk.

"THANK YOU MY GOOD CAT!" laughed Rocket, regarding the front row's two newest members. "WELL I GUESS WE KNOW WHO CUSTOMER NUMBER ONE AND CUSTOMER NUMBER TWO ARE… BUT HOW DO WE DECIDE WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE?" Rocket regarded the line of stoic Chip and Dale mammals with a fake pout, before snapping his fingers in realization. "I'VE GOT AN IDEA!" shouted the raccoon, turning back to audience. Rocket lofted his paws, and clapped twice extinguishing all the lights.

Nick's breath caught as he attempted to make sense of the absurd ceremony.

Before his eyes could adjust to the black out, Nick's ears caught the sound of rising music. The fox was spared only a second of realization before the rolling bass guitar assaulted his ears as Warrant's Cherry Pie lit up the sound system.

An array of Pink spotlights re-lit the stage as a single mammal from each end of the line-up broke off and made their way to the cat walk. Nick's eyes widened in shock as he watched a tall sculpted Gazelle meet up with a chiseled Zebra, center stage. Both mammals sported matching bunny masks as they sashayed their way down the catwalk to the pole. Once at the flared end of the walk way, the duo took turns demonstrating their best moves before returning to the lineup. The crowd went wild as another duo broke away to entice the gaggle of partying females.

"I said you'd have to _earn_ it, Nicky" whispered Rocket, from behind the lineup. "NOW GO MAKE ROCKET PROUD!"

With a shove, Nick was forced out of the lineup and into the spotlight. Numbly making his way to the base of the catwalk, Nick all but choked on his tongue as he scoped out his competition. The tall muscular timber wolf joined Nick center stage with a keen and intimidation smile. With a snort of approval and a wink, the wolf jostled Nick back to his senses just in time to do his best strut. Working his way down the cat-walk, Nick steeled his nerves as best he could. Chuckling slightly at the cacophony or rock music and cat-calls, the wolf stopped first, prompting nick to stumble forward into the pole.

Nick lost his balance and clung to the pole for stability. Inadvertently spinning around the pole's base several times, the fox finally came to a stop on his side, in a perfect glamour pose. The crowd went wild.

Climbing back to his feet, Nick traded places with the impressed competitor. However, the bunny-masked predator easily swung onto the pole with a grace which spoke of years of mastery. Nick bit his lower lip as he watched marvel and joy dance across Judy's face, he couldn't be shown up.

As the wolf dismounted and joined Nick's side, Nick made another bid for the pole. Entirely unsure of himself, Nick channeled his inner acrobat, and gracelessly climbed the center facet. The crowd erupted in joyous laughter as they watched Nick's effort with absolute wonder. Making it to the top, Nick grabbed onto the metal rod to catch his breath. Looking down at the floor, Nick marveled at his shear athleticism, before his grip slipped and he pealed backwards off of the center piece.

Time moved in slow motion as the audience's collective breath caught in shock and worry. However, the back of Nick's knee and foot locked about the bar just right, and the candid was reeled back in to spin about the bar upside down.

The audience exploded with cheers at the fox's "daring" move. Realizing that he was not plunging to his death, Nick took the moment to recollect and strike some glory poses as he slowly rotated about and descended the bar. Arriving at the bottom, Nick reached down, and moved into a hand-stand before recovering to his feet with a bow. Nick's heart beat wildly as he caught Judy's absolutely ecstatic grin at his maneuver. Turning away from the crowd, Nick and the timber wolf strutted their way back to the lineup.

As Nick reclaimed his post, and a separate duo took the stage. Rocket took the opportunity to give Nick a reassuring pat on the hindquarters. "KEEP THAT UP AND I MIGHT HAVE TO OFFER YOU A JOB."

Nick chuckled slightly as he stared into the crowd, where Judy sat, unable to peal her eyes off of him.

The final duo broke away from the catwalk, and Rocket took to the center stage. The music turned down to a much more manageable level, as Rocket fanned himself with a paw. "I DO DECLARE!" spouted the raccoon, pulling on his collar for emphasis and eliciting a round of laughs from the watching crowd. "TOP NOTCH MAMMALS… BUT ONLY **ONE** GETS TO… _SERVICE_ THE 'GUEST OF HONOR'…"

Nick's throat went dry as Judy was lifted and placed on to the stage. The lightly embarrassed rabbit giggled as Rocket guided her down the line up, making suggestions the whole way. Judy stopped in front of a chiseled gray bunny with black stripes in his fur, before pointing and looking to the crowd for advice. The reaction was a mix of cheers and boos, which prompted Judy to laugh and blush an even deeper shade of red. As Nick watched helplessly from the end of the lineup, he was struck by the horrifying idea that Judy might not pick him.

Nick couldn't bear to watch. Squeezing his eyes shut tight behind his mask, the fox pleaded with the powers that be, and wondered what horrid atrocities he must have committed in a past life to deserve his current fate.

"I think I like this one…"

Nick's eyes snapped open just in time to see Judy Hopps pointing into his chest, and looking to the crowd for advice. The rabbit jumped excitedly at the crowd's response, laughing at the unanimous approval.

"Ooooh," cooed Judy finally locking eyes with the fox on display.

The rabbit's breath stung Nick's sensitive nose as he caught the aromatic cloud of alcohol. Studying his fiancé's eyes, Nick was taken aback by how glossy and unfocused they were. Judy was, for lack of a better word, tanked.

"You have _veeeeery_ pretty eye…" continued the rabbit, tracing a single claw down the center of Nick's exposed chest. The compromised rabbit stood on her tippy toes and grabbed the scruff of Nick's neck fur. Pulling his ear to her mouth, she whispered; "What's your name?"

Nick opened his mouth to reply, only to have Rocket forcefully snap his jaws shut for him. "HE… DOES NOT GET TO TALK!" interjected the raccoon, separating Judy from her target.

The rabbit shot Rocket a quick pout, and missed Nick's death glare. Returning her attention to the mysterious fox, Judy asked again; "Then what's his name, Rocket?"

"AH-" The raccoon opened his mouth but no words came out. Searching desperately for a name, Rocket finally stuttered; "J-JACK… SAVAGE?"

Judy shot the raccoon an incredulous stare before returning her attention to Nick. Nick could all but hear the gears turning in Judy's booze-flooded brain. The rabbit tilted her head to the side as she inspected the mostly naked mammal, and Nick worried for a moment that she might recognize him.

"I'll take him!" said Judy with a confident nod.

The crowd erupted in cheers at the bachelorette's choice. Rocket cleared his throat as he turned to address the audience. "AND WE HAVE A WINNER! MR… SAVAGE, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO ESCORT OUR GUEST TO THE VIP BOOTH?" At the back of the room, a spot light illuminated a candle lit booth, which had apparently been set aside for such an occasion.

Seizing the moment, Nick scooped Judy off of her feet and made to carry the laughing bunny to her seat. Weaving his way through the crowd, Nick received an all too knowing nudge and accompanying wink as he passed his cheetah co-worker.

Finally setting Judy down at her destination, Nick opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Judy's slurred "No!"

Nick took a surprised step back and held his paws up in innocence, as Judy climbed to her feet atop the booth's seat.

"You don't get to talk mister…" Judy scrunched up her face as she tried to remember Nick's "name," eliciting a chuckle from the fox.

"Savage," said Nick, filling in the chemically compromised rabbit.

"Thanks," giggle Judy before folding her arms and fixing Nick with a laughably stern glare. "No talking Mister Savage…" continued the bachelorette bunny. "Instead you can… you can…" Judy's eyes traced over Nick's form as she attempted to figure out what she could get away with. Nick simply smiled and folded his paws in front of himself and awaited the embarrassed rabbit's demands.

"How about we start you off with some water?" offered Nick, taking note of how wobbly his fiancé looked.

"That sounds amazing…" cooed the rabbit, dropping her stern act entirely.

Nick held a single digit up to the rabbit signaling for her to wait before ducking away to the bar. Thinking better than to leave Judy at her lofted perch, Nick quickly returned and lifted Judy off the booth-seat and set her firmly back on the ground. With a quick pat on the head, Nick ducked away to fetch some water.

"One blue dolphin, my good keep-" Nick's words caught in his throat as he made eye contact with the familiar nocturnal bartender. "Jazz!"

"Well if it ain't Slick-Nick!" laughed the opossum with a lopsided grin, throwing his paws out to the side. "How in all of nature are you my good mammal?"

"I'm good Jazz, real good…" assured Nick, taking a moment to lift his mascaraed out of the way of his face. "It seems like you've been doing well for yourself."

"I have, Nicky, life's been good to me so far…" Said the opossum as he fetched a glass with his tail and passed it to himself to polish while he talked. "I got myself a gal, and we've been going steady."

"No way?" said Nick, matching the bartender's warm smile.

"Yes sir," assured the opossum with a nod. "She's uh, right over there…"

Nick scoured the crowd where Jazz had gestured with his tail, but was unable to see any female opossums in the crowd. "I don't see any opossums Jazz, I think I must be blind…" offered Nick with an unsure smile.

Jazz threw his head back in laughter before offering an explanation; "That's because Le-Lani is a Cougar…"

Nick was taken aback by the information, but quickly found the aforementioned Female. Nick marveled at her beauty as he looked over her muscular yet feminine build. Returning his attention to the bar-keep, Nick shot Jazz a quick playful punch to the arm. "Good for you!"

Jazz simply nodded, sporting his iconic lopsided grin as he watched his mate from behind the bar. "Yeah, I'd had my eyes on her for a long time, but I never thought it would work… for obvious reasons." Jazz took a moment to collect himself before continuing. "But then I saw you two last year, and you guys seemed so happy and I realized… Life's too short for that kind of stuff; animals are meant to live."

"You said it mammal," replied Nick, taking the moment to reflect upon the day's event.

"Anyways," laughed the bartender, taking a moment to inspect the glass he had been absentmindedly polishing. "It's a very special night for that bunny of yours… and an even bigger day tomorrow," fetching a small glass vial of pills from under the counter with his tail; Jazz filled the now spotless glass with water from the well-tap. "She'll thank you tomorrow if you have her take two of these and drink all of this.

Nick instantly recognized the small hangover tablets which the nocturnal bartender had pushed towards him. Picking up the tablets and glass of water, Nick offered a soft "Thank's mammal…"

"Don't mention it…" said Jazz flicking the nose of Nick's mask, prompting it to fall back into place on his snout. "Just take care of that bunny; she looks like the wedding planning might have be a little rough on her."

A small shiver ran down Nick's spine at Jazz's last comment. Making his way back through the crowd, Nick tried to re justify his own actions to himself. Reaching the VIP booth, Nick was snapped back to reality as he looked down to see Judy curled up on the floor; under the table.

"Hay, carrots?" asked Nick, ducking under the oversized table to join his spouse.

"Nick?" asked Judy, stirring only slightly. "Is that you Mr. Wilde?"

"Naw," replied Nick, stroking Judy's long gray ears. "Just Jack… but I could pretend to be Nick if it made you feel better."

The intoxicated rabbit giggled lightly as she attempted to lift her head to better look at Nick. Blowing out hard through her nose, Judy tried to open her eyes but let out a small wine as the light of the real world blinded her.

"Easy there, fluff…" whispered Nick, scooping the mostly limp bunny into his lap. "I think you may have had one too many."

Judy nodded and offered a soft mumble of agreement.

"I've got you some stuff that will make you feel better, okay?" asked Nick stroking Judy's ears. Looking over his fiancé, Nick was struck by just how pretty she was. Judy had presumable not had a chance to change since the end of the wedding rehearsal, and still wore her gorgeous blue dress.

"Okay," mumbled Judy, snapping Nick back to the real world.

Helping Judy take the pills one at a time, Nick made sure she drank the entire glass of water before allowing her to curl back up in his lap. The rabbit lay quiet for a few minutes before finally speaking again.

"Hay Jack?" asked Judy.

"Yeah?" replied Nick.

"I know it's actually you…" said the rabbit with a small nod.

Nick chuckled slightly at Judy's comment. "You think so, do you fluff?"

"I know so," said Judy with a smile. The rabbit lay silent for a great while, and Nick assumed that she had finally fallen asleep. However, a soft murmur grabbed Nick's attention.

"What was that?" asked Nick.

"I'm so sorry, Nick…" said Judy, causing Nick's heart to break.

"About what?" asked Nick.

"Your honey moon…" replied Judy with a little snivel. "It was the _one_ thing you wanted and I said _no_... B-because _I_ wanted the _perfect_ wedding… Now we have neither…"

"Hay, that's not true," said Nick trying to keep his voice from shaking.

Judy simply shook her head and ground her face into Nick's exposed chest.

Nick bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to think of something to say. However, he was saved from comment by the sound of Judy snoring in his lap.

Nick felt awful as he watched the one animal that he loved asleep in his lap. Nick shook his head in amazement at how upside down he had managed to get.

Surely, there was something he could do to save himself.

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**Dear Reader,**

I would like to take a moment to thank all of you for your outstanding patience with me during this story. While I'm usually very good about planning out my story-path, and then executing my plan... I realized that I had written myself into a bit of a corner. With the ending I had written, much of Nick's actions came-off as malicious. While Nick has certainly become the king of bad-decisions; his actions are mostly misguided, and _not_ sinister. In any case, I'm not going to make any promises on an upload schedule (my senior project for my Bachelors-Degree will surely throw all of that off coarse) however, I am going to shoot for one upload a week until we are done.

Enjoy,

Something had happened to Nick.

Something malignant had occurred in the fox's brain. Like water which rises slowly to a boil, Nick had not recognized the danger until it was too late for him to escape his own broiling inferno. However strange it may seem, Nick _knew_ he was in hot-water, but could not _feel_ the scalding ramifications of his own actions.

Instead, the fox felt… numb.

Nick wondered when the horrible little thing had happened in his brain. Where, the fox asked, did he take such a wrong turn? Perhaps it was when his old friend, and "business-partner" Finnick, moved on and found a _new_ partner in crime. Perhaps it had happened a year ago… Nick could recall several potential instances of brain damage, which could have all attributed to his poor judgement. Perhaps, Nick wondered sadly, it was just his lot in life to ruin all of his own opportunities.

Simple… predetermined… facts…

Nick was pulled back to reality by the sound of his fiancé rolling over in bed next to him.

After Judy's bachelorette party, Nick had carried the black-out-bunny all the way back to their shared apartment. The rabbit had been so intoxicated that she only lightly stirred when Nick tripped and accidentally banged her head on the wall in the hallway.

Nick felt awful as he reached out to pet Judy's sleeping head, and to make sure she didn't have a lump on her skull. Nick paused for a moment, as he realized that he had actually felt something. While not a good emotion, the fox took comfort in the assurance that he had not become a complete sociopath over the course of the last two days.

Laying his head back down on his pillow, Nick snuggled himself against the side of his sleeping spouse. Judy instinctively draped an arm over his exposed chest as she curled in to steal the fox's warmth.

Nick stared blankly at the ceiling, unable to sleep. The fox had too much to contemplate to sleep. Nick methodically weighed his options, contemplating his next move. Judy needed an escape, the fox reasoned. Judy _needed_ a honey-moon to relax after the wedding. However, Nick was just short of recouping his losses _and_ affording a vacation. Nick fought for a solution, milling over every detail in a bitter attempt to formulate a plan.

Hours passed in the blink of an eye for the fox, whom was only brought back by a soft "boop!"

Looking to the culprit, Nick locked the lilac eyes of his gorgeous lover.

"Hi!" giggled Judy as she guiltily retracting her paw from the tip if Nick's nose.

"Morning," offered Nick, suddenly aware of how light it had become in their bedroom.

"Good morning … Mr. Savage…" teased Judy, tilting her chin in an attempt to give her most enticing stare.

Nick shook his head at the rabbit before pulling the covers over her face. "What a shame," said the fox flatly "I really did like this one…"

Judy laughed before exploding out from under the covers, "You're stuck with me Wilde!" shouted the bunny as she moved to straddle the Fox's chest trapping him in the bed. "And you're gonna marry me today, whether you like it or not!"

Nick chuckled at the stern rabbit as she folded her arms down at him. After calculating his responses Nick finally relied; "well if it's gonna happen, I might as well try to enjoy myself…"

"That's the spirit!" chirped Judy before leaning in to give the fox a kiss.

Nick reached up to embrace the back of Judy's neck while they kissed, only to have his paw swatted away by the rabbit.

"No!" said Judy, holding out a single digit of admonishment to the fox, and fixing him with a laughably stern brow. "I am saving myself till marriage, Mr. Wilde!"

Nick barked a laugh at the bunny as she refolded her arms at him.

"Don't you laugh at me fox," scolded Judy. "I am a _proper_ maiden, a-and I want to be… pure… on my wedding night!"

"Is that so?" asked Nick with a smirk.

"Mm-Hm," replied Judy with an affirmative nod.

"You sure you wouldn't rather I…" Nick slowly brought his claws up for emphasis, "ravage you... instead?"

"Nope…" replied Judy, shaking her head at her captive.

"Well all right…" said Nick, dropping his paws back to the bedding in defeat. "Not even a little bit? Just like… half of you! I could ravage the bottom half of you, and no one would be any wiser."

Judy snapped a paw to her mouth in a failed attempt to hold back a laugh at the fox's teasing. "Nick! No, you can't… ravage _any_ of me…"

"What about the back half?" asked the fox, half laughing at his own crude humor.

Judy let out a hard laugh, as she attempted to feign disgust.

"That way, stick with me fluff…" Nick held up his paws in an attempt to negotiate with the rabbit. "You'll be all business in the front," the fox waved a paw in front of his muzzle for emphasis "and _my_ business in the back!"

Judy laughed so hard at Nick's teasing that she accidentally snorted. Seeing the Fox's muzzle light up in excitement at her embarrassment, Judy seized the moment for escape.

"Hay, wait, come back!" laughed Nick from the bed, as the gray rabbit made a mad dash out of the room. "Half of you is mine!"

"Brush your teeth Wilde," laughed Judy from the living room. "We've got to get moving!"

Nick sunk into the bed in defeat. As the fox lay still, he felt a creeping sensation in his heart; it was joy. The fox let out a sad laugh as he shook his head at himself. Making his way to the bathroom, Judy continued to yell directions to the fox from the other room.

"Phillipe needs me to come into the church a little bit early…" called Judy from across the hall. "And once I'm there, you're not going to see me until I come down the isle."

"When _you_ come down the aisle?" yelled Nick, toothbrush still in his snout. "I thought we established that _you_ were gonna wait for _me_!" Nick let a stupid grin spread across his muzzle as he heard Judy's angry footsteps coming to the open bathroom door.

"Listen, fox" spat Judy, pointing a finger at the disobedient predator. " _I_ am coming down the aisle today, and if you don't like that then… write your congress-mammal!"

Nick laughed at the rabbit's miniature rampage, and held up his paws in resignation. "Ok, you win…"

"Much better!" chirped Judy with a sugary-sweet smile. Springing to the fox's side, Judy gave Nick a kiss on the cheek before making her way back out of the bathroom. "I've gotta go, Nicholas. So get a good look because this is the last you'll see of me until tonight…" At that, the rabbit did a small spin to show off the simple green dress she had changed into. "Also, you're gonna have to check on my family before the wedding. Make sure Daddy isn't going to faint or anything like that."

Nick chuckled at the thought of the old rabbit passing out during the ceremony. "Can do, fluff" answered the fox, pulling the brush out of his mouth. "I love you, Judy" called the fox as his fiancé stepped out of the room.

Peaking back around the corner, Judy blew a quick raspberry before disappearing from view.

Nick chuckled to himself as he turned to look in the mirror. "Yikes," said Nick as he examined his own reflection. "That rabbit must _really_ love you…" It was clear to see that he had not slept last night. Nick's fir was matted in several places, and his eye's looked sunken from a lack of sleep. Opening the medicine cabinet, Nick found something which made the little bleed in his brain return. Grabbing the small glass bottle from the shelf, Nick rolled it over in his paws.

Hydrogen-Peroxide is mostly used for bleaching fir or sterilizing scratches. Ironically, it was Nick whom most always ended up getting scratched by Judy on accident, not the other way around. However, Nick remembered an alternative application; In Nick's case, the chemical worked as a powerful Emetic.

While Judy and Nick had _mostly_ analogous diets, there was one particular instance of inadvertent poisoning, which sprung to mind.

Nick had come home late one evening after having to file extra paperwork for a case the duo had closed. Judy had bested the fox in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, and thus the fox was sentenced to "death-by-file-clerk." The file-clerk in question... was a sloth. Inevitably, the process of logging the closed-case for permanent-record took several exhausting hours, and by the time Nick made it home; the fox was all-but dead. Crawling across the couch to where Judy was watching television and eating ice-cream, the exhausted candid draped himself across Judy's lap. Judy obliged the exhausted fox as he lazily opened his mouth in an attempt to beg some of the frozen treat off of his spouse. Feeding Nick his portion of the bowl while they watched It's Always Bunny In Philadelphia, Nick remembered the sudden illness which had set in no later than his fifth bite.

"Carrots…" asked Nick, attempting to blink the gray away from the edge of his vision. "What's in that ice-cream?"

"I think its got dates and raisins…" replied Judy, entirely distracted by the on-screen antic. "Why?"

Nick's eyes nearly bulged out of his head at Judy's statement. Rocketing off of the couch, Nick inadvertently sent Judy's bowl of ice-cream flying as he made a mad dash for the bathroom. Raisins, while deplorable for many reasons, happen to be extremely toxic and ultimately fatal to all members of the canine family. Fortunately, Nick had foreseen such a problem arising and already had a bottle of the vomit-inducing medication in their shared bathroom. While Nick spilt his contents to the porcelain-throne, Judy begged for forgiveness. In the end, Nick narrowly avoided the hospital, and Judy was forgiven.

Chuckling at the terrifying antics, Nick was brought back to the present. Setting the bottle on the counter, Nick decided to take a shower to try and get ready for the day.

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	9. Chapter 9

**Dear Reader,**

I would like to (once again) thank all of you for your outstanding patience with me during this story. As mentioned before, I had to rewrite a large section of the ending for several reasons. That being said, we do get to indulge in a little bit of my favorite version of Wilde-Hopps; Nick and Stu.

Enjoy,

Strutting his way down the boulevard, Nick sported an uncommonly energetic pep in his step. Tucked under the fox's arm was an "unopened" bottle of wine, which he had snagged from Judy's stash on his way out.

The fox had formulated his final act. It was a long shot, but the fox was confident in his luck.

Nick had noticed something about the preacher in their brief meetings. The fox, whose wit and power of observation had been honed from years of hustling, had noticed a small flaw in the seemingly sterling bishop's demeanor. If Nick's suspicions were correct, he had what con-mammals call; an _in_.

Adjusting the bottle under his arm, Nick turned a corner and made his way into a tall hotel building. Waving casually to the lamb secretary, who watched over the lobby, Nick entered the hotel's elevator and ascended to the fifth floor.

The hotel had been built to house animals of all sizes; with the largest rooms taking up the ground floor, and consecutively smaller and smaller rooms on each higher floor. The fifth floor, was just about bunny sized.

With a soft ding, the elevator made the landing, and Nick stepped out. Looking about the rather lavished hallway, Nick was assured that Phillipe had spared no expense in housing Judy's family members. Or rather, Phillipe had spared none of Nick's expense.

Checking the room number on his phone, the fox made his way to the Hopps' hotel room. Stopping in front of the properly numbered door, Nick lifted a paw to Knock, but stopped just short. The last time Nick had seen his fiancé's family, he had not dismissed himself on the _kindest_ of terms. The fox's stomach gurgled in protest of his situation, and he winced at his own cowardice.

"Come on Nick," the fox said to no one in particular. "Get it together, Ju-"

However, the fox's pep talk was cut short as the din of hotel life was punctuated by the sound of a smashing vase and yelling. Pinning his ears to the noise, Nick realized that the cacophony had originated from within the room of bunnies. Readying himself, Nick lifted a paw to knock, only to have the door explode open in front of him.

" **Oh, so I suppose it'd be better if I just left** " yelled Stu as he ducked past the fox and out of the room. " _Don't mind me then_ , ** _I'll just see myself out!_** "

Standing dumbfounded in the doorway, Nick tried to process what had just happened. Springing forward, the fox grabbed the doorknob and slammed the hotel room back shut before any of the bunnies within could recognize him. Spinning on his heels, Nick spotted Stu, already half way down the hall.

"Stu!" called Nick, jogging after the fuming rabbit. "Hay, wait up!"

The stout rabbit's ears rocketed into the air as they instinctively pivoted towards the perusing fox. Stu's posture stiffened momentarily before turning to face Nick. "Oh, hay there!" boomed the rabbit, shaking his head briefly in an attempt to regain composure.

Nick, having finally caught up with the old mammal, took a moment to analyze his soon-to-be father in law's expression. Nick's brow twisted slightly as he tried to understand the look of, what he assumed to be worry, plastered across the rabbit's face. "What was all that about?"

"Oh, _that_?" blurted Stu, almost too defensively. "It was nothing; you know how Bon' can be sometimes. I don't know how she keeps all those kits in order, but nature willing she pulls it off!" The elder rabbit threw his paws up in a shrug as he let out an unconvincing-nervous laugh. "How 'bout you, son? What's going on with you?"

Nick regarded the question with suspicion as he continued to examine Stu's disheveled appearance. "I'm getting _married_ today…" answered the fox slowly. "To _your_ daughter… remember?"

"Right!" barked the rabbit, snapping his fingers into a point at the statement. "Congratulations! How you feeling 'bout that? Everything good?"

Nick scrubbed the back of his neck with a free paw as he attempted to puzzle together the strange situation. "Yeah, I'm excited," answered Nick with a small nod. "Mr. Hopps, are you doing okay?"

The rabbit opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Nick narrowed his eyes in an attempt to anticipate the rabbit's next move. However, Stu's posture sank and the stout rabbit mumbled a sad; "not really, no…"

Nick was taken aback by the sudden admission. Judy had warned Nick about her father not coping, but he had assumed she was joking. However, looking down at the defeated mammal in front of him, it was clear to see that Stu was not dealing well.

Nick opened his mouth to speak, but choked on his words as Stu's shoulders hitched, and the grown bunny began to cry.

"I'm just so worried…" sobbed the elder rabbit, locking eyes with the exceptionally confused fox. "I-I-I know you're a good fox, Nick, I really do! A-and Judy isn't by any means my only daughter, or even my oldest…"

Nick's brow knotted into an unintentional grimace as he listened to the crying confessions of a rabbit whom had once tried to beat him to death in a boxing ring. Nodding his head in an attempt to seam empathetic, Nick fought desperately to navigate the immensely awkward exchange.

"B-but it doesn't get any easier, you know?" continued the rabbit, entirely missing Nick's near defensive posture. "A-and look at me! I'm just an old… crying fool…" The rabbit hung his head in sorrow as he continued to snivel to himself.

Slowly, Nick set his bottle of wine on the floor and inched closer to the emotionally distraught rabbit. For Nick, the situation would have probably been humorous, if he weren't directly involved in it. Edging up closer to Judy's father, Nick called upon his years of bunny knowledge and simply pulled the big rabbit in for a hug.

Nick felt stupid. Two grown mammals, hugging in the middle of the hallway, but he didn't care. Gritting his teeth together, Nick braced for Stu's retaliation. However, it never came. Instead, the rabbit wormed his paws under Nick's suit jacket, and wrapped the fox in an all too tender hug.

Nick chuckled slightly as Stu continued to snivel into his chest. Now confident that Judy's father would not react violently, Nick took the moment to pet his father-in-law's long gray ears. "I guess Judy didn't _only_ inherit your stubborn streak, eh?" chuckled the fox.

The rabbit shook his head with a chuckle as he began to collect himself. "You tell any-bunny about this and I'll have your pelt, fox" mumbled Stu into the fox's chest.

"Not a word," laughed Nick, patting the elder rabbit on the back. "Now let's get you presentable again."

Nick and Stu separated, and the elder rabbit produced a red handkerchief to blot his quivering nose and eyes. "Awe shoot," said the rabbit, looking at the front of Nick's white button-down. "I ruined your tuxedo."

Nick looked down and laughed at the dual tear-stains which had been left on his suit. "Don't even worry about it," said the fox as he buttoned back up his suit-jacket to hide the stains. "If I got my tail in a bind every time Judy got a little wetness on me, well I'd-" The fox cut himself off with a cough at his own poor phrasing.

"Shuck's Nick, _now_ I've heard everything" laughed the rabbit, giving the embarrassed fox a hefty slap on the back.

"No, I-I didn't mean it like that," stuttered the embarrassed fox.

Stu simply held up a paw to silence the rambling predator. "Please, Wilde, us bunnies are notoriously 'active.' Why you _must_ know that."

"Mh-m…" muttered Nick with a tense nod, which earned the fox a skeptical look. "Yup, Judy and I know that…"

"Nick," asked the rabbit with an all too comfortable air of fatherly concern. "You and Judy aren't having… _problems_ … in the… fox-den, are you?"

Nick's posture snapped up in embarrassment so quickly, he felt as though he had given himself whiplash. While Nick had never had a father to give him the awkward "talk," if he had, he was sure that this is how it would have felt. "No!" blurted the fox, "Really, Mr. Hopps, Judy and I are doing _just fine_ in the… th-that department."

"You sure?" asked Stu apparently oblivious to how badly Nick wanted to escape their conversation. "Because, I mean… it's entirely normal, even _natural_ for problems to arise sometimes. Just the _fact_ that you two… _fit_ together must be a miracle-"

Nick nearly jumped a foot when he heard a room-door swing open down the hall. Willing to turn his attention anywhere else, Nick said a silent prayer of thanks when he saw Bonnie marching a line of bunnies towards the elevator. "Bonnie!" blurted Nick, "Good to see you."

Bonnie gave a quick wave before turning back to her troop of kits. Pulling Nick away for a final second, Stu offered a quick pat on the back. "Well if you ever need to talk about _anything,_ just know I'm here for you."

Nick gave the rabbit a quick nod before heading down the hall.

"Oh, Nick!" blurted Stu, following after the fleeing fox. "Don't forget your bottle!"

Nick nearly tripped on his own feet at the rabbits words. Spinning about, Nick saw Stu with the bottle in tow. Snatching the glass container from his father-in-law, Nick must have let his emotions show, because Stu now fixed him with an unreadable stare.

"Nick," asked the rabbit carefully "What's in that bottle?"

"It's uh…" the fox could feel beads of sweat forming on his paw pads as he tried to find an escape. Lifting the bottle in front of himself Nick attempted to convincingly read the green bottle's label. "It's uh… wine…"

The bunnies suspicious eyes jumped from fox to bottle and back. "And why do you have it?"

Nick opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. The fox cleared his throat, moved the bottle from one paw to the other, and attempted to speak again; no sound came out. Finally Nick blew out a full breath of air and found his tongue. "Stu," asked Nick. "Can I ask you a… hypothetical question?"

"Well sure, son…" replied Stu with a little shock. "But I'll warn you that I ain't really the high-thinkin' type."

"Th-that's okay," assured Nick as he nervously scrubbed the back of his Nick in a vain attempt to comfort himself. "Well you see…"

"Nicholas, Steward!" sang Bonnie from the end of the hallway, cutting Nick's thoughts like a knife. "We gotta go, or we'll be late!"

Stu instinctively pushed past Nick, knowing better than to keep his wife waiting. Turing slowly about and heading down the hall, Nick caught the last of the bunnies as they boarded the near-industrial sized elevator to the ground floor.

"It's so good to see you Nick," cooed Bonnie on the ride down. "Why the kits have just been dyeing to see you again."

Nick laughed nervously as he turned his attention down towards the miniature troop of finely dressed bunnies. Nick waved weakly at the group, eliciting a small wave of giggles.

"Stu," scolded Bonnie, snatching the fox's attention away from the starring crowd. "Fix your tie, your daughter is getting married today!"

Nick watched for a moment as the disgruntled bunny tried (and failed) to fix his tie before stepping in.

"Hold this," said Nick, passing off his bottle and stepping up to stu. "I've never been able to tie my own tie without a mirror," spoke Nick softly as he undid and retied Stu's tie in a simple over-paw knot. Stepping back to admire his work, Nick retrieved his bottle and gave a quick nod of approval. "Sometimes an extra set of paws can really help."

"Shoot," chuckled Stu. "And here I was thinking Judy just tied your tie _for_ you."

"Be nice," scolded Bonnie with a soft elbow.

"To be fair," replied the fox "Judy _did_ teach me how to _actually_ tie my tie."

The elevator doors opened with a soft ding, and the troop of mammals exited onto the ground floor. Making their way out of the lobby, Judy's family and Nick made the short trek to the church where the day's festivity would be held. Once in the lobby, Nick ushered Judy's family into the church's main sanctuary before stealing himself away to a side hall.

Making his way through the church's abandoned passage, Nick easily found his target; the bishop's quarters. Rolling his bottle about in his paws, Nick hoped that "gift" might do the trick. Setting the poisoned bottle on the floor for a moment, Nick peaked through the massive door's olden ornate lock. Seeing that the coast was clear, the fox hooked a single claw into the lock's oversized opening. Feeling about, Nick caught the locking mechanism and turned his paw. With a satisfying *kur-chunk* the door unlatched and began to lazily swing open. Nick chuckled at his own feat of stealth, and the irony of having been taught the trick by the ZPD. Retrieving his bottle from the floor, Nick darted into the private quarters and closed the door behind himself.

As to be expected, the Massive bishop's quarters were about two sizes too large for the fox. Climbing into an oversized kitchen chair, Nick made the leap onto the bishop's table, and did a fist-pump of celebration.

Next to the scraps of the Bishop's breakfast stood a mostly finished glass of wine. Nick's intuition had paid off. Uncorking the bottle with a claw, Nick poured the sabotaged wine into the bishop's glass. Biting his lip as he watched the frothing mixture of vino and hydrogen peroxide, Nick was relieved to see that one rabbit-sized bottle of wine only made for roughly one horse-sized glass. Nick was sure that there was a pun to be made about drinking, or peeing like a horse as he stared down the almost overflowing glass; but he had nothing.

"We gotta get you back on your game," mumbled Nick to himself as he climbed off the table, bottle in tow. "That's just pain sad…"

Slinking back out into the hallway, Nick let the large door swing gracefully closed behind him. Making his way back down the hall, Nick hid the bottle in a nearby planter and made for the groom's quarters.

With a soft rustle of leaves, Finnick peaked out of another nearby planter. Examining the discarded wine bottle for only a moment, the desert fox sprang from his hiding place without a sound. The miniature fox's massive ears flicked around as he listened for even the slightest disturbance. Confident that he was alone, Finnick made a silent dash for the Bishop's quarters before disappearing behind the ornate door.

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

**Dear Reader,**

I would like to take a second to thank all you who have taken the time to read my little story, despite my best efforts to drive you all away. I realize that the last chapter was a little boring (and I apologize), but now that we've transitioned into the final act; it is all down hill from here.

Enjoy,

Finnick made a leap of faith, and barely caught the edge of the table. To a regular fox, the bishop's private quarters were already uncannily large. To the miniature fox, the furniture was nearly insurmountable.

Kicking his hind legs uselessly at the air, Finnick barely managed to hoist himself up onto the table's surface. Blowing out a deep breath, the sand-fox took a moment to straighten his suit jacket as he was reminded of exactly why he had never become a cat-burglar. Looking about the horse's massive dining-spread, the fox let a smile slip as he spotted his target; a large goblet.

Sauntering up to the imposing cup, Finnick let out an impressed whistle as he sniffed the glasses contents. "Early riser, are we?" spoke the fox to nobody in particular as he analyzed the enticing aroma of the bishop's red-wine. Reaching into the depth of his suit-jacket, Finnick produced a small green bottle with no label. Giving the vessel a quick exploratory shake, the sand-fox removed the bottle's top but stopped just short of adding the mystery liquid to the swirling red.

Finnick licked his lips as his inner turmoil unfolded. It would be such a same, though the miniature fox, to "waste" so much wine. However, it was still strikingly early to be drinking, even for Finnick. Grinding his teeth together in resignation, the tan predator's shoulders dropped in defeat as he re-stopped the bottle. Lifting the massive cup to his lips, Finnick took a long pull of the hindering elixir.

The instant the wine touched the fox's tongue, the pleasure centers of his brain lit up, assuring the canine that he had made an exceptionally good choice. Finally pulling the cup away from his lips, Finnick swallowed and felt a pleasantly tingly sensation in his nose. However, Finnick's bliss was quickly interrupted as his over-sized ears trained in on the sound of an intruder. With lighting speed, Finnick emptied his mystery-vail into the wine and dashed behind a potted Aloe plant which sat in the middle of the table. Thanks to the massive size-difference of the bishop's chamber, Finnick was able to disappear just in time for the massive equine's appearance.

Finnick bit the inside of his cheek as he listened to the thudding hoof-steps of the devout mammal making his way towards the table. The fox's ears swiveled about as they zeroed in on the sound of the bishop taking his seat. However, the pleasant tingling which Finnick had been experiencing was rapidly spreading through the fox's snout and creeping down his throat. Overwhelmed by his body's own defense mechanisms, Finnick let out a single audible sneeze.

"Bless you, child" came the Bishop's deep voice.

Wiping his nose with the back of his paw, Finnick offered a quick "Thanks," before his heart all but stopped. Finnick's eyes grew wide in fear as he froze solid, if the bishop knew he was here, surely the gig was up. The fox held his breath for an impassible moment.

"I know you're there, Finnick" spoke the holy-draft-horse, "you don't need to hide from me…"

Weighing his options, Finnick finally decided to come out of hiding and face the preacher.

"And to what honor do I owe such a…" bishop Clyde paused to briefly look Finnick over from top-to-bottom as he swirled his wine-glass "such a _Fine_ visitation?"

The bishop's hungry gaze sent a foreign shiver down Finnick's spine, before kindling the embers of an idea. "I'm h-here…" Finnick fought to pick out an angle of attack "I'm here too… make a… confession. Yeah!" Finnick summoned his most polite smile as he continued to formulate his con.

"Is that so," replied the bishop, visibly disappointed. "Well, child, confessions aren't done snout-to-snout. If you want to con-"

Finnick's heart skipped a beat as the holly-equine made to set down his glass. " **No, wait!** " blurted Finnick a little too forcefully. Finnick realized that if he let the bishop set down the glass, the con was up; he _needed_ Bishop Douglas to drink the wine. "I-It's not that kind of confesion!"

"Really, now…" questioned the horse, tilting his brow incredulously at the fox's advances. " _Go ooon…_ "

"Y-Yes, you see…" emboldened by the horse's interest Finnick attempted to ignore the tingling sensation which was returning with a vengeance. "I-I've got this… feeling… that, uh, only happens when… _you're_ around!" Finnick began to sweat as he fought to stay off the creeping tingling sensation which was clawing at his throat.

"Is that so, little one…" replied the bishop, looking about the room to ensure that no one was there to overhear their exchange. "And these… _feelings_ … you've been having… do you feel that they are, _pure_ … in nature?"

Finnick watched as the bishop brought his cup within sipping distance of his own snout, only to pause with the goblet meager inches away from drinking. The tingling had escalated to a near squirming sensation and Finnick felt his stomach turn a little. Panting slightly in an attempt to maintain composer, Finnick answered "honestly, I-I have no clue what is going on with me right-now…"

The massive horse bit down on his bottom lip in an attempt to stop it from quivering as he watched the tiny fox in front of him. "Oh mercy…" mumbled the horse allowing a flustered cloud of steam to escape his lungs.

Sitting upright in his chair, the draft-horse made to set down his glass, but Finnick was too quick. Darting forward, the miniature fox caught the bottom of the glass and pushed the cup upwards tilting it towards the horse's muzzle. Instinctively, the bishop swept forward to catch the wine before it spilt and took a long flustered pull of his morning vino. However, Finnick's victory was short lived as his stomach made a mad dash for his throat. Fortunately, years of drinking had prepared Finnick such an occasion and the fox's iron gullet refused the back-draft.

Swallowing hard, Finnick seized the bishop's distracted moment to dive off the table and escape out of the door in a tan blur.

Having finished the entire glass of wine, the massive horse looked about his chambers for the miniature fox while fanning himself with a hoof. "I do declare," spoke to the horse upon realizing the Finnick was in fact gone "I think that little fox has given me a case of the Vapors…"

Outside of the bishop's quarter, Finnick made a mad-dash for the groom's-room. Finnick's sweaty paw-pads nearly slid out from underneath him on the church's polished-marble flooring as he careened around a corner. The fox tried desperately to diagnose what was happening to himself. Finnick reasoned that he hadn't drank _that_ much of the wine, and yet the fox felt borderline nauseous. Frantically barging into the groom's quarters, Finnick slammed the door behind himself before running smack-dab into the middle of Rocket and Nick.

"Finnick, where you been big-guy!" It was Nick whom excitedly welcomed his pint-sized companion back. However, the fox's keen eyes quickly picked up on Finnick's slightly disheveled appearance. "What happened to you… you look, awful."

"I-I was in the Bishop's quarters…" coughed Finnick before gritting his teeth in a bitter attempt to quell a rising storm in his stomach.

At Finnick's admission, Rocket's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. Giving a paw-signal across his throat in an attempt to keep Finnick from saying too much, Rocket accidentally snagged Nick's confused attention.

"Finnick, what were you doing in the bishop's quarters…" asked Nick slowly, with a rising tone of accusation.

Finnick opened his mouth to speak but no noise came out. At this point, Finnick's fur had a visible damp appearance which he was trying to ignore. Closing his mouth, Finnick tried (and failed) to give an entirely convincing shrug.

Nick's brain ran a mile-a-minute as he began to piece together what had happened. "Rocket," Nick turned his scalding attention to the exceptionally-guilty-looking raccoon as he spoke "what was Finnick doing in the bishop's quarters?"

"It's funny, really" laughed the raccoon in a failing attempt to appear calm under pressure. "Well, you see… Finnick and I were thinking-"

"No…" interrupted Nick as he began to grind a knuckle into his brow in frustration.

"Stay with me, Nick" pleaded Rocket as he waived his paws in an attempt to salvage the situation. "Finnick and I w-were thinking tha-"

"Tell me you two _knuckle-heads_ didn't decide to poison Bishop Clyde Douglas…" spat Nick, entirely despondent at his two cohorts.

Both Finnick and Rocket stood in stunned silence. Prompting a pained whimper from the miniature fox, a heady gurgling noise emanated from Finnick's poisoned stomach breaking the stalemate. Panting in discomfort, Finnick pointed at Nick, confirming his fears.

"Brilliant!" spat Nick, throwing his paws up in resignation. "Absolutely perfect! Tell me, Finnick, did you drink anything while you were in there?"

"How'd you know?" asked the miniature fox, looking from Rocket to Nick and back.

"Because _I also_ poisoned the Bishop!" spat Nick, gesturing at his own chest with a thumb.

"Y-you…" panic began to grip Finnick as all of his symptoms began to make sense "you poisoned me, Nicky. Why?"

"I told you two _not_ to try anything!" spoke Nick to Rocket. At this point the fox was too disappointed to even be angry.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" mumbled Finnick to himself.

"That recently, eh?" asked Rocket with all too much enthusiasm.

Nick spun on his heels to confront the raccon before being stopped by the drone of a pipe organ. Hurriedly checking the time on his phone, Nick muttered a silent curse from between clenched teeth. "I swear you two could make me late for my own funeral!"

Making his way to the door, Nick stalled to address Finnick with a pointed paw; "I swear to the powers that be, if you throw up on anyone important while were out there… I-I'll…" Nick's shoulders dropped in defeat as he shook his head "I'm gonna be honest with you, I'll probably cry."

 **Oh hot-diggity!**

Did you just read another whole chapter? Yes, yes you did. Did you enjoy it? I sure hope so! If you did, then read another! But before you go, please be sure to write a review, leave a favorite, or make a suggestion. I do this for me, but also for you guy. So please, give me your thought.

-Enjoy the next chapter!


End file.
